Sunflower Studio

The Sweet Jill Badonsky on Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T05:23:00.000-08:00

How blessed I am to be on Jill Badonsky's Blog Tour. This author/illustrator/creative gure is one of my idols. I am so thrilled to take part!Since it is a Valentine's Day interview I am going with love themed questions:

What do you LOVE about the work you do?
I am deeply in love with the creative process, in using it to express the quirky and surprising things are delivered to me by my Muse and in discovering more and more about it. To be able to share those discoveries with others in a fun, inspiring, and practical way is just an amazing blessing. I feel like I'm using my talents to inspire others.

2. What time of the day/week/year to you LOVE and find the most inspiring?
Any moment the Muse nudges me is a good time of the day: early morning brings the promise of another sacred beginning, late mornings hikes are grand (since I work for myself, that's when I have my staff-meetings with me and me and me), mid-afternoon naptime is sublime, late night mischief is splendid, and I can't say enough about feeling exhausted in a good way when it's time for the head to hit the pillow.

My favorite day is Friday because I begin to embrace the creative possibility of the weekend.
I like Spring, Fall, Summer and Winter, but mostly the first four. There's something to love about all of them.

What do you LOVE about your office or studio?
I love how convenient it is to reach anyone in the world while sitting on my futon with my kitties, my comforter and my computer. I love the art on my walls. I love my red kitchen. I love having handy pens and watercolor paints.

4. You seem to LOVE empowering personal growth. Please offer your best piece of advice for budding artists/entrepeneurs.
Lower your expectations at the beginning, ask yourself small questions whenever you can, take one small step and trust that the way will be made clear but above all, make it fun.

5. It's Valentine's Day a holiday that is commonly associated with candy. Describe which candy (chocolate or otherwise) you are most like and why.
I like papaya.. I'm currently into whole, delicious, fruit and once the sugar addiction subsided.. there is no candy that compares to fruit.

**Due to technical difficulties (are you listening Blogger?) I am unable to add the page from the Awe-manac today. I will post it on Monday, February 16 (assuming all is well with Blogger.) sorry Jill.

Thank you to Ms. Badonsky for the opportunity to visit with you. Let's do it again real soon.

To my readers~ enJOY this creative thinker.

Awe-fully Excited, Jill Badonsky Interview coming soon

2009-01-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

It won't be long before she's here. Creativity Coach and author, among other fabulous titles, Jill Badonsky will make a quick stop on her blog tour. On February 14 she'll pay me a visit and answer a few questions about herself. Expect fun. Expect a Valentine sweet piece.

enJOY!

Manifestastical...the magic of manifestation

2009-01-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

The possibility of each new day is felt in the morning sunrise.

Isn't it just magical when you realize you called something in to your reality?

You thought of it and it appeared. You let go of the end result and magic happened. Pure intention innocently crafted is readily brought into our material world if only we let go of the result.

It wasn't long ago that I arrived at my waitressing job and said to myself it would be nice to make at least one hundred dollars tonight. Of course, looking around the restaurant I couldn't see that it would happen, or at least it didn't look hopeful.

I quickly remembered that I am Pure Potential. I remembered that between Point A and Point B there is this thing called POSSIBILITY. I didn't know HOW it would happen I only needed to know there was a possibility it could happen.

Then and there I reminded myself that anything was possible and I went about my work.

How delightful that three hours later as I counted the wad of bills in my apron I was way ahead of my goal of $100. POSSIBILITY. I gave thanks to my own self for remembering that manifestation requires the letting go and the faith of POSSIBILITY.

Remembering that manifestation requires the letting go and the faith of POSSIBILITY is key.

Try this yourself and see. Yee ha!

Sunflower Studio news, Jill Badonsky Plans a Visit

2009-01-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

Are you a fan of The Nine Modern Day Muses and a Bodyguard? Do you use the Awe-manac? Are your creative juices overflowing due to a very special lady's tips, tricks and coaching? If the answer is yes then be sure to keep checking in to Sunflower Studio for a very big Valentine Event. You will LOVE this.
Yes, it's true the ever creative master of muses, Jill Badonsky is planning a short visit. Together

we have planned a short interview to be relayed here at Sunflower Studio in February on Valentine's Day. Mark your calendar for February 14!

So, bring your favorite chocolate bar, a hot drink, pencil and paper (for note taking) and plan on eavesdropping on my conversation with one of my idols.

My second piece of news is bittersweet. Bitter?! Yes. I will be closing Sunflower Studio. What does this mean to you? It means you will no longer be able to find me at this URL. I thank Blogger and more than that I thank Melba who introduced me to blogging. Sunflower Studio was there for my personal growth, and grow I have, in ways that I didn't even go into online. You only saw a Nth of what I was going through.

It's bittersweet I said. Sweet? Yes. It's sweet because I am reopening a new blog at a new address with a new name. I will be announcing it soon. My new blog will be more for my creative self, less of my personal self. It's not like I won't tell you if I go surfing, I will tell you. (However, don't count on ever seeing me surfing." I simply am ready to go in another direction.

I hope you will stay on board, my door is always open and hey, I'll leave the light on for you.

Updates about the new blog will come soon. You will be able to find the Jill Badonsky interview here and at the new locale.

Empowering Our Children...Just Be Yourself a Children's Book by a Maine Author

2009-01-04T11:15:00.001-08:00

JUST BE YOURSELF story and art by Tamra L. Veilleux

When short, orange carrot gets pulled from the comfort of the dark sweet soil he becomes confused about his possible contribution to the world. What could a short orange one be good at? After asking the wisest ones he can find carrot discovers that by putting aside worry, relaxing, and having fun he can uncover exactly what he’s good at.

Have you noticed that many kids feel stressed and pressured?! Relieve them of their worry!

This colorful short story for ages 3-7 is intended to empower our children. The easy to absorb message is that you can stop worrying. You are perfect and you are enough, no matter who or what you are.

Colorful mixed-media art illustrations with an upbeat story will engage your kids and help them to know that it is okay to JUST BE YOURSELF.

For information on purchasing this book please contact me directly via email: artlady.tlc@gmail.com

The Shift Movie

2008-12-10T13:03:00.000-08:00

Please. I implore you. Watch this and know that a certain level known as "Critical Mass" has been reached and we are changing. Like minded people in large quantities can move mountains. Congrats to everyone.

www.theshiftmovie.com

Enjoy

All Is Miracle

2008-12-08T06:09:00.000-08:00

A miracle, according to the true meaning of the word, is something admirable; and agreeable to this, all is miracle. The stupendous order of nature, the revolution of a hundred millions of worlds around a million of suns, the activity of light, the life of animals, all are grand and perpetual miracles.

So says Voltaire, and I agree "all is a grand and perpetual Miracle."

Breathe them in. Let them sink into your skin. See them and believe the words of Voltaire.

Coming soon to your life. A Miracle. Starring: YOU! (he he he, Congrats!)

And this is me, with one of my own little miracles. (Travel safe, Miss Muffet!)

Catching Up & Giving Thanks

2008-12-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

I have illustrations coming out of my ears. Goodness gracious it feels good. Life has been moving SUPER FAST or now they say UBER fast. Whatever, my head is spinning from all of the movement.

A have a creativity/life coach now, she is fabulous. Janet Whitehead is her name and you can catch her at www.musingsandmud.com (my hyperlink thingy-ma-bob) isn't working. I am reading Nine Modern Day Muses and a Body Guard by Jill Badonsky. This is an interesting way to stay creative. I am painting. Sketching. Writing. Typing. Organizing. Photographing. And basically trying to prepare myself for 200

For those of you who love astrology and are fellow Virgos then you had one-hell-of-a-year, too. It's slated to get better, so hang in there.

In the meantime I'm loving my destiny. For now, I'm off and running to my latest venture. More later.

Enjoying Autumn

2008-10-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

Well it seems as though Blogger won't let me upload pictures. Is anyone else struggling with this? Each week I try again to write and attach pictures and blogger plain old says no. Or maybe it's my tired computer? I'm not sure.

I have been a busy little beaver painting and writing and doing the school thing. Life is good, not neccessarily smooth, but good just the same. Autumn's color is so invigorating. I find myself amazed by the vibrant oranges, reds, yellows and pinks. My camera is full of photos I'd love you to see but no thanks to Blogger it isn't going to happen.

Here's hoping fall is treating you all well. More on another day when I can wrap my head around this computer issue.

Get Happy

2008-09-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

Whatever your joy immerse yourself in it.

Take a warm bath of happiness. Soak in the waters of contentment as you immerse yourself in whatever it is that makes you happiest. When we truly feel joy from a deep level we attract more joy. So go ahead and do as much as you can of whatever it is that makes you want to sing. I dare you to immerse yourself today.

Summer's End

2008-09-04T04:14:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken in one of the fields of cut-your-own flowers at my work.

Tis the last days of what most school kids call summer. Being that I'm older now, I can readily see that the best part of summer is this month. September sits well with me. Mildly warm days follwed by crisp nights, the need for another layer, seeing my breath as little puffs of steam as I watch a field hockey game. Aaaah, the sweet days of September. And, oh, how about the sweet smell of the dry leaves falling. Beautiful. It transports me.

During August I kept busy in the studio. I was busier than ever actually. I really forced myself to make it there two and sometimes three times a week. It's thrilling to have that flow of creativity.

This mixed media piece is titled "You OTTO be in pictures". My grandpuppy is a beautiful blue weimeraner who always wears the goofiest look. Acrylic and pastels on watercolor paper was a comfortable fit.

This old apple tree and I are fast friends. I sat under her so many times. I find her spellbinding, the greens in this photo really capture her beauty. I am anxious to see her change of clothes for fall. Will she go yellow, orange, red? I can only guess.

Other news I should include here:

I ordered a new camera, it should arrive today as a matter of fact. It's a Sony DSC-H50 10 megapixel beauty. I worked hard all summer, this was a treat to myself. I can't wait to get going with this.

Art openings galore. Last weekend I attended the opening of "Critters Revisited" at the Gallery at Chase Hill, the sister shop of the Maine Art Gallery. The entire show was, well, critters (okay, animals). I find myself attracted to the really bold art and the more unusual pieces. Dorrie Koeller and Laura Balombini really interest me, find their links at the Maine-art.com site.

I picked up Miss Muffet from California. She's here for the next 8 weeks or so. I couldn't be happier.

Bandaloop is rockin. This is one busy place. I highly recommend that if you ever make it to Kennebunkport you try this organic, all natural eatery. Amazing atmosphere and phenomenal food. I am one tired waitress. Apparently we got written up in Downeast Magazine and it has had a huge effect on the restaurant.
I discovered, with the help of a kind friend, Pandora.com Design your own radio station, I am in heaven.

I bought four new art books and am having a blast digging in to some new concepts. I am becoming a fanatic sketcher. Here is one of many...

Okay, I've decided you don't need a rundown on my day to day, I'll just stop and say to you all that Maine is a great place to be. I start school today. Happy girl going to her happy place.

Take care and be well bloggy buddies.

Mixed Media Blessings

2008-08-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

The old inspiration board is pouring over with ideas. It's colorful, bright and bold. My paper palette is revealing interesting images, too.

Recent pieces include the tree you see here, the tree you see below. These are among mermaids, sketches of my feet, my coffee cup, my roommate sleeping random palette knife backgrounds and bold marker sketches abound. Go with the flow, right?

Wedding plans are near complete even though the date is July of 2009. Old Miss Muffet is on her way home from California tomorrow. I am near tears with delight. My darlin' boy is working hard and enjoying the benefits of his own apartment. The Handsome One is, well, still handsome. (*sigh*)

This beautiful coastal town still amazes and delights me. It takes my breath away and fills me to the gills with joy.

Chat soon. Got a new book to read. A day late and a dollar short I just got: Acrylic Revolution.

A Plum Dandy Adventure

2008-07-16T11:27:00.003-07:00

Hi, Remember me? Tam I am. Oh yes, it's been an adventure, a plum dandy adventure. Head spinning. Hold on to your shorts and I'll give you a briefing:

Miss Muffet got married and graduated high school.....IN THAT ORDER. Do you see the rings on her left hand. She's the very proud wife of a U S Air Force Airman First Class. That makes me the proud mother-in-law of an Airman First Class. This pix is from her graduation party, two weeks after elopement. (Not to worry, big TO-DO style wedding next July). She looks quite happy, don't you think? Have I mentioned she moved to Orange, California?

The picture above is my brother Ron, the infamous Shy Jack and his mommy, my sweet sister-in-law Cindy-Lou-Who. Missing from the pix is brother Nick who just wouldn't sit still. This family is having a new home built and I have been trying to visit often and just keep the vibes good while they are bouncing from living space to living space.

Baseball...Summer is about baseball. I don't just mean backyard games like this one. I mean the RedSox versus the Yankees. I mean The RedSox versus the Orioles. I mean the RedSox versus..well, you get it. I love watching professional baseball and was lucky enough to score tickets to Boston for a great game that went 14 innings. I won't bore you with the details, I'll just say the Sox won with a walk off homerun.

What you don't know is that this pix of Jack is really sweet, I simply forgot to rotate the silly thing before posting. Tilt your head to the left (lay your ear on your shoulder) and enjoy a neat shot of Jack preparing to hit the ball. This kid is a cracker jack!! I tell you, you can pitch from forty feet, throw overhand and he slams the ball over your head. AHEM! He's five. The cutie patootie in the back is Nick just behaving himself and clapping each time Jack hits the ball.

Tourism at it's best. You know I work at a big garden center, right? What a blast. Honestly. Fun place. Beautiful flowers. Well, I also work at a great organic restaurant. Tourism is big here in Kennebunkport. To prove it I had a visit from to plum dandy ladies. We painted the Port in good shape!

Recognize these two? Being Creative Every Day is so easy! Right, Sweet pea?

These two thought they needed an Orla Keily bag. (HEY, I hope I got that spelling right). We had fun shopping and traipsing about taking photos.

Leah was so cute next to this old gas pump. That smile, that dress, that friend.

And this is my favorite shot from the entire day. Jes looks beautiful in this shot and her giant smile shows the joy we had that day. Sharing. Sisterhood. Art. *sigh* sniff, sniff.

Green. Summer in Maine. Summer everywhere is green. Meet Lewis. He belongs to my VIP, the Handsome One. Lewis has kind of consumed my weeks lately. Will he be coming over this weekend? Will he behave this weekend? Is he still shedding? Don't forget to take all the food off the kitchen counters. I'm missing a sock. This dog is high maintenance but pure LOVE. My boss adores him. My VIP adores him. I'm trying to adore him.

More green. I love the bands of color in this shot, don't you?

And here it is, me, the VIP and Lewis. Lewis couldn't stand to NOT BE IN THE PHOTO.

Last but not least the gratuitous foot shot. Clever, don't you agree?

For those of you who are saying "OMG, doesn't she do anything creative??" The answer is yes:

Shy Jack the book I wrote is almost 50% illustrated. I say that loosely. My teacher, Wade Zahares, will be so proud of me when he sees the effort I put in. Well, I hope so anyway. It's been quite time consuming.
I cut out a queen sized quilt and am in the process of piecing it.
I sketch a few times a week.
I stitched a dress.
I put together some found object jewelry.
I am helping with wedding plans for Miss Muffet
I'm finally cooking at home more.
I have a beautiful, full garden that I am now harvesting.
I signed up for Heartwoods fall semester, two classes this time.
I've been to two art openings and have visited approximately eight galleries in the area with more to go.
Does drinking daiquiris at a dockside restaurant count as creative inspiration? I hope so, done that once or twice this summer.

Oh yes, it's been a plum dandy adventure.

2008-05-11T17:02:00.000-07:00

So my knight in shining armor came for a long visit this weekend. We had such a nice time together. We went all out and enjoyed this AMAZING CONCERT at this FABULOUS EATERY. It was so intimate and the music was so emotional. We both laughed at the non-stop chatter between songs and wiped salty tears from the corners of our eyes as the song lyrics tugged our heartstrings. A grand time indeed.

So in the art world I have been making books, painting with watercolors, doing contour line drawings and making home made cards amongst other things. I have lots of things going on in my head but have not been able to get them all down on paper.

I find that cramming forty plus hours of work a week is too time consuming. It's hard to come home and feel creative at 6 pm and your stomach is growling and the dirty dishes didn't wash themselves. Balance is needed and I am searching it out in a big way. It's find balance or quit working. This will be one tough choice!Just thought I'd toss in this pix of me and my two brothers at Easter. That's my older brother Randy on the left with the silly look. This is odd because he is one serious dude. No kidding. Real serious. His blue eyes can pierce you like well, anything that pierces I suppose. Brother number 2 is on the far right. That's Ron. Soft hearted and sweet. His eyes are just plain gentle. These two are good people who I admire and respect. They both are there for me, always in the nick of time.

And hey, that's me in the middle. Repeat after me: middle child syndrome. Do I look like I'm complaining? No way.

In other news:

Roommate is having a birthday
My mother is having her birthday
My father & friend are traveling home from across the US. He's now officially one of those people who leaves the state for the winter and comes home only during golf season. Bless you, Dad and Doris!!
Dan and Hill are enjoying spring and are living life high off the hog (What does that mean, anyway?)
I am enjoying my job at the local farm center but am brewing other things in my head....I'm just trying to roll with the punches.
Heartwood is done for the school year.
I have been to three amazing art openings. That has been a real blast about this area. It is filled with galleries! I'm seeing some great work, it is so inspirational.

Happy Mother's Day to all and to all a good night! ...MUAH!

Country Mouse Goes to the City

2008-04-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

OMG! This has been such an odd spring. I moved friends. Here I am in Kennebunkport, Maine. Country mouse goes to the city. It's odd and surreal. On a brief note:

I went without Internet service for nearly four weeks so have been VERY out of touch with blogging and emails. My apologies

I am still attending Heartwood and the last class was today.

I have been sewing and painting and drawing quite a lot. There is inspiration APLENTY.

I've been to the flea market already. Got some GREAT sterling silver earrings that are absolutely hilarious.

I have a roommate who is adorable and young, like a daughter to me except I can't send her to room if she misbehaves

I started some lovely tomatoes and basil seedlings that are thriving

I'm painting the living room tangerine color

And this has kept me busy.

I'm coming back to life, slowly but surely. It has been a rough ride and of all things my mother-in-law that I adored suffered a heart attack and passed. My heart is aching.

I promise to post art and pix soon and I promise to come back to my laughing silly self. Hang in there with me, will you?

Oddly Enough

2008-03-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

This is where I've been at. Please, only if you dare, CLICK HERE.

And then smile and be happy for us. Bookmark it and keep tabs.

Spring in Maine

2008-03-20T15:55:00.001-07:00

There I was minding my own business in the kitchen when I heard some rustling noises outside. I ran to the window and caught this glimpse of the shadow of ...hold on to your hats....THE *WEASTER BUNNY*! (don't ask, that's how we say it in our family) Yes, the Weaster Bunny, made an early trip to my house hiding M&M's and Cadbury Creme Eggs.
I feel fortunate to have been able to adjust my shutter speed quickly enough to catch this slow-mo picture of the bunny before he hopped off into the wild blue yonder. Sorta brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it.

In other news. I truly have been busy in the art studio. I haven't posted the CED 08 stuff because, well, because I've been *slack* in posting. I have done something daily, that's for certain, if you want to prove it I'll mail you my journal where I list all the things I'm doing. :)
Here is a short list:

fimo clay buttons...I really like Fimo. I just do.

new recipe testing...a great and exciting thing to do and who doesn't love eating?

sewing. Yes, my old love is resurfacing. I decided to challenge myself and found a lovely trench coat pattern by McCalls. I dug through the discount fabric bins and found some lovely sky blue stretch twill with electric lime green satin and then a teaser print fabric with a floral/leaf motif that I used for the under collar and such.. Gadzooks, what stitching fun!

See the pretty colors? And don't you just love an old fashioned tomato pincushion? Who ever came up with that idea? They deserve a pat on the back.

I read the Chuck Close Portraits book and was completely smitten. Smitten enough to do a picture in this style. Now mind you, his works are GINORMOUS in size 4' x 6' with 4-6" grids. But I, being the nutcase I am, did an 8 x 11 using a 1/2" grid. I literally couldn't see straight after working on my painting for three hours straight. I looked up and almost fell. He he. The dangers of digging into your own work.

Music by Dave Mallet, Maine singer/songwriter has pleased me along with American Idols Beatles music night. Can I just say that David Archulatta, the 17 year old, looks almost exactly like Miss Muffett's boyfriend, Lyle. Since Lyle is now serving in the US Air Force and I haven't seen him since October each time David Archulatta sings I well up with tears. But I digress, the point is the Beatles music is amazing to me, even if David A forgot the words to his song. Back to art...

Mixed Media small works 4 x 6": The next pix is of "An Easy Flower" The ant swinging from a flower stem is an idea from my sketch book that I decided was time to bring out.

Attended an art opening at the school. That was really cool. The Size Doesn't Matter Show was a so inspirational. I am constantly amazed by other peoples work. Maine artists should check the school link for their calls for art. They do eight shows a year.

I've been planning my new blog. Yes, my new blog. I've outgrown this one and have something better coming up. Don't look for it until I've settled into my new digs. Maybe I'll launch it in May, it depends on how things shake out.

More Mixed Media Art...Something Fishy. I really like this 4x6 piece. I did it for fun. It has real fishing line and an actual hook, too.

Grocery Shopping as a creative endeavor?? Why yes!! The colors and textures and shapes really inspire me to cook at a whole new level. I bought broccoli slaw, fresh organic asparagus, organic beets with attached greens. Color and flavor, yum.

Planning the walls of my new apartment. My roommate and I are planning the color scheme in the new digs. I'm thinking raspberry, chocolate and tangerine. She's thinking red. HA! We'll work it out. Interior Design is a passion of mine. I will be taking photos for you to see.

Sewing. Did I mention I love sewing? I made a new colorful backpack, pink and green.

Sewing. Did I mention I love sewing? I found some amazing tie dyed cotton eyelet for a great new sundress. This is my next project.

Weaving. I have a school project that calls for "found objects" and "environmental issues" so I wove plastic bags together and am in the process of making a wallet from it. Along with that will be a bubble wrap backpack. Let it be, just don't ask.
Garden planning. This is all in my head at this point, but planning a garden is a creative endeavor, I'm sure of it.
My book for illustration class. Shy Jack is in its early stages, but it is a labor of love for my sweet five year old nephew.

There, that's the bulk of my creativity for the last month. Of course I still write almost daily and doodle on everything that is flat. Next week I am moving to Kennebunkport (Maine), I have also moved my 20 year old into his new apartment. I am planning a graduation party, a going away party and a special something for a special someone that I especially can't discuss.

Beyond that I tried on my bathing suit to see if it still fits. Do you think the ribbon in my hair is too much?? Be honest, I can take it.

Last but not least, the Weaster Bunny picture from earlier in the post isn't really the Weaster Bunny. It was only me PRETENDING to be the bunny. I didn't want all you moms running to get your kids and show them a photo of the EB when it was really only me. It would be wrong to try to pull the wool over their eyes. In the photo below you can actually see my arm and hand holding the camera. Yes, I tried to trick you. However, the photo above is really of me in my swimsuit and ballet slippers.

*Here's wishing you and your family a warm and heartfelt Easter Sunday. God bless.

Good Computer Gone Bad, Next on Geraldo

2008-03-20T03:57:00.001-07:00

Computer has the flu. Doctor making house call tomorrow. Happy thoughts welcomed.

Spring Cleaning

2008-03-13T03:51:00.000-07:00

The other day when I was set to do a long post with pictures Blogger wouldn't let me work at MY pace, so I quit that post and went about spring cleaning.

I promise to post the gazillions of artsy-craftsy stuff later when my patience isn't so thin.

Who said "A clean house is the sign of a boring person." ? Now I must go shampoo my cat.

Smile & Breathe

2008-03-04T04:08:00.000-08:00

Smile because your heart knows a secret. And because your soul knows what that secret is. Smile at that. Smile a lot. It will cure what ails you.

Breathe. Breathe long and deep. Slowly and gently. Breathe in the soft, sweet nothingness of life, so full of energy, so full of love. It's God's love you are breathing. Breathe deeply and you can feel it. Breathe very, very deeply and the love will make you cry. For joy.

...taken from Conversations With God, Book 3 by Neale Donald Walsch

I'm off to school and to feel the energy of my new surroundings. I'm off smiling and breathing.

Six Word Memoir

2008-02-28T08:59:00.000-08:00

Line Drawing in Progress

2008-02-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

But first, the snow.
More on the way. Okay, so enough about that.

This Chuck Close love I have right now forced me to grid some 130 lb watercolor paper the other day. I let it sit, now quite sure what to do with it but knowing somehow I needed to make these grids work. I finally was inspired by Buddah's soft face and I got busy.

In this you can see the Chuck Close book and the start of my line drawing. This should be interesting.So here I go working out the nose shadows.Here I put a little distance between myself and the piece so I could see how it was coming from afar. Sometimes it's easy to forget to step back. We all get so involved in the piece it's easy to get lost in the work.

Okay, I'm gaining. No cramps in the hands, just a few hunger pangs to deal with. No lunch for me until this is over.

Did I say no lunch? Who am I fooling besides myself? I noshed on tuna sandwiches with Dan while he played some tunes. Think to yourself: Nellie, Tim McGraw, Eminem, Puff Daddy, Brooks and Dunn....I'm singing along, I'm bouncing along, I'm swearing along. It's all in good fun, just Dan's style, not mine. Back to business...

Voila. One finished piece. I gridded and then used fine point Zig marker to draw diagonal lines in each of the boxes. Interesting result. It looks really good from a distance. I'm not so thrilled about how it's represented here. I see it matted in red and framed in a thin black metal frame. This will sit well near my altar. I am contemplating doing one of these of the face of Jesus, too.

The Green Man Cometh with Chuck Close

2008-02-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me when I woke up this morning, beore I had coffee. I was lost in thought and trying to decide to wear my pink panties or my boring white ones.

There is always a lot going on and there are so many posts that I don't write that I should write. There is so much that I leave out that I want to share. Tonight as American Idol decides who's getting cut I am going to tell you What's on my mind...

The sale of the restaurant and hotel, tomorrow it's official. This means more breathing room in my life

Green Man...the male equivalent to Mother Earth. I feel some art coming up around this and I can't wait to see how it turns out. I think thoughts of Spring are creeping up on me and I seem to hear him whispering...

Chuck Close, the artist. I am blown away by his self portraits and can't stop looking at the volume lent me by my artist/teacher. Please take a moment to Google this man and see what you get, I couldn't decide which of the sites had the best information on him. His work is fascinating. Gridding and painting.

Moving...I have found new digs and am working out the kinks. I can't wait to relocate to a place where I can truly spread my wings and start anew. The one year anniversary of my big D (and I don't mean Dallas) has somehow freed me.

Painting...finding my groove. This isn't easy. Fine art at school is different than the mixed media approach that I love. I am being challenged and ultimately that is good. I am enjoying the process even though it has been excruciating at times. I feel willing to make mistakes in order to learn and can I say this: I AM MAKING MISTAKES. Teacher says that if you like one in ten paintings or if one in ten paintings really work then you've done well. So there! See, I didn't know that. I thought they would all just fall together. Uh-uh. NO! I kind of struggle with embarrassment because in my circles I am the artistic "go-to" girl and now...well, I'm just secondary. I am learning to be okay with secondary because I know it is temporary. I am still trying to figure out my style. Bear with me, because it could get really ugly! (No pity, friends, I am okay with all of this. I think it is helping my personal growth quite a lot).

Personal growth...I am reading "Conversations With God....Book 3" by Neale Donald Walsh. I am moved to tears with hope. Even if you don't believe that God came and spoke through NDW every word you read is beautiful and uplifting. There are times in this book that I have had to put the book down and laugh out loud. God is hilarious.

Love...the slow but sure mending of my inner world...the constant and reassuring love of my baby brother, mother, father, former in-laws, children and friends old and new has brought me a feeling of support and community. This was much needed.

Happiness...it's inevitable. I write A LOT. I draw and paint A LOT. I think A LOT. I pray A LOT. I believe & it's all good.

Ride the wave, friends. Just ride the wave.

P.S. That isn't really me in the photo above.

Maine Snow Storm Forces Art Students to Paint

2008-02-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

Roof #9, acrylic on 8 x 10 canvas board
Roof # 10, acrylic on 8 x 10 canvas board
Roof #11 acrylic on 8 x 10 canvas board

The snow here in Maine is crazy big. Crazy I say. I haven't seen this much snow in years. My back aches and my shovel cries when I just think about moving all of it. But, when life gives you snow storms make lemonade, right? The saying goes something like that.

Tuesday night the Heartwood gang decided it was Cranium night. We ordered pizza and sat around the dorm's kitchen table and played a rousing game involving acting, drawing with your eyes closed, humming and other oddities. It was fun and my team won. As we entertained ourselves inside the storm brewed outside. Soon I was snowed in.

All's well, the Heartwood teacher lives down the road a mile or two and she determined if we made the coffee she would come over and do the weekly critiques. Yes, small Maine colleges can do this kind of thing. We are on the tail end of a three week intensive course and the many snowstorms we've endured this season has created some major interruption and we needed to get at it and get it done!

Borrow a pillow, lend a blanket, steal a towel and toothpaste and VOILA I am a ready made pajama party~ The next day I was first up and first to break out the paints. By noon the teacher had made it out of her very snowed in driveway and was on her way over. I'd done one and a half paintings by then and it was critique time.

For me this intensive has been painful. I don't consider myself a painter even though I do paint. I have a steep and dangerous learning curve going on and it is, in one word...PAINFUL. I don't like my results and I'm kind of scared to post them here, but I'm going to do it for the sake of art and for the sake of CED08.

SIZE DOESN'T MATTER is a lovely art show coming up at Heartwood. Heartwood, by the way, has a public gallery. They do four shows of local artists and a smattering of shows of students and faculty. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER is an annual event and is a well attended show. A few students, a few local artists and some faculty show in this one. All pieces are under 25 square inches. It runs February 18-March 21 with the opening reception being February 20 at 4:00. If any of you New Englanders want to meet me there, just speak up I am at School on Wednesday's anyway so it would be great fun!

On the homefront things are settling down. I believe I have located my new digs. I believe I have sold my restaurant. I believe life is starting anew. The power of positive thinking, following my intuition and listening to the ever present inner voice has served me well. I'm coming out of hiding soon, blasting out of my self-imposed prison.

This elephant jammed into a box was a fun little thing I did while viewing When Harry Met Sally. Yeah, I'm a little slow about getting caught up with my movie watching.

And oh, Happy Valenetine's Day! I hope you got something sweet from someone sweet. I had fun making some greeting cards for the special folks in my life, and who doesn't love Dove chocolates?

The Dog Ate My Shoes and Other Lousy Excuses

2008-02-11T11:34:00.000-08:00

Remember the dog from the earlier post? He did eat my shoes, honest. Luckily I picked up these fabulous ones to replace the chewed ones.

Did I mention 15 paintings in three weeks? Rooftops. Here's just one of the many pictures I am working from.

Wrestling matches galore. The Handsome One's kid is on the wrestling team so off we go each weekend from one end of the state to the other watching all 104 pounds of him get tied in knots.
School is wonderful. Scanner is broken, can't post art until it's fixed. I found a new home and am working out the kinks, will report on that in detail later. I am waist deep in snow bankings due to our old fashioned Maine winter this year. I'm a cooking, painting, traveling fool. Or maybe it's just that I'm a fool. HA! (only time will tell).

Oh, I can't end this post without telling you about the amazing house concert I went to on Saturday. I'm telling you I am one fortunate fool. Scott King and his friends Steve Jones, Erik Glockler and Ginger ?? played together at a mutual friends house. Can I just say....WOW! Ginger drums for Nashville musicians like Bonnie Raitt. Steve Jones is a master guitarist and the vocals of Eric Glockler, well, ...huh! Musical genius ensued. Think Johnny Cash, the Beatles, Led Zepplin, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, and originals. I was mesmerized. I feel so lucky to know these people. And how about the fabulous hosts who opened their doors for this party. Amazing.

Kelly Rae and Blue Weimeraners

2008-02-01T11:38:00.000-08:00

One has nothing to do with the other. Kelly Rae and blue dogs, I mean. He he.

I won Kelly Rae's 508th blogpost contest. It was my lucky day last Thursday as I won not one thing, but two things that day. Kelly Rae gave me $100 worth of prints from her Etsy shop and I was one excited girl! I got three fabulous prints.

I laughed out loud when I got the mail and saw her handwriting in red marker on the outside of the large mailer. WOO HOO! I WON!
Miss Muffett was home to take a photo of me opening the package.

And here's me with my lovely prints. Thank you Kelly Rae. I wish you continued success and peace as you go for the gold. Keep on keeping on.
And just for the heck of it. Here is my grand-puppy Otto. For the record I think I am too young to be a grandmother to this puppy. And damn if my daughter doesn't call me "Grammy Tammy." SH**!

Miss Muffett calls the dog her Wuppy which means Weimeraner Puppy. This is one N-A-U-G-H-T-Y boy. He chewed my slippers and he chewed my shoes. Maybe that isn't so bad because today I got some great new loafers and sneaks. Ah well, it's good to make the best of a bad situation.

In the art world Book Making class is over. Got an A. Alphabet project has begun. I have to do 15 paintings in three weeks. I will be posting the results starting on Sunday. My subject: rooftops.

And yes, I'm being creative every day. Here's hoping you all are, too. From me to you...

Muah!

Creative Every Day 2008

2008-01-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

Here I am with another brief CED 08 entry. Last week we made stab binding books. Now these really appeal to the seamstress in me because you need to use a needle and thread to put the whole thing together. How about this lovelly batik polka dot fabric. And see the stitching at the top?! I added my own turquoise beads and a pop of red to tie it together. Here's the guts of the book. The proper term is the "signature" or text block. I call it guts.
A lovely and colorful close up.
Here's the other book I did last week. It's called a stitch binding. In this one you use ribbons and stitch around them and into the book signatures. Pure fun. I love this vintage looking fabric. I've had it for fifteen years or so. I keep scrapping it into smaller pieces so I can have it all over my house. I started a quilt those fifteen years ago that is STILL in process.

This is the inside of that small stitch book. I think I will handwrite some recipes into this pretty little thing.

Other creative endeavors from the week include:

Wrote a short story to be posted soon

Drew sketches for my final project in Book Arts

Completed a canvas for a local art show

Made a home display of this

Did sketches in my sketchbook of patterns and played with design ideas

Garnered some inspiration from Country Living magazine

Wrote a children's story for illustration class

Baked delicious banana bread

Stirred up a hot batch of Red Soup

Wow! I sometimes do better than I realize. One thing I have really enjoyed about this whole CED is journaling my creative endeavors. I am keeping a book right near my alarm clock and before bed I made a gratitude entry and a creatactivity (did I use that right, Leah?). As I look back on my days I realize I have truly done alright!

In other life issues I am on the prowl for new & permanent digs. I am searching the mid-coast and southern coastal Maine area for my new home-sweet-home. This is big news for the girl who needs roots. Wish me luck and better yet, send a prayer my way as I listen to the wind for direction, keep my eyes peeled for the synchronicities and feel my belly quiver as I sense the timing is right. All of my senses are alive and eager to catch the next clue...

And have I mentioned the yummy seed catalogs making their way to my mailbox? OY!

Heartwood College & CED 08

2008-01-10T04:30:00.000-08:00

My Happy Place has come to life again. Wheeee! Tuesday I found my way back to Heartwood for my second semester. This time the administration decided that the entire school would do two three and a half week long intensives. This first one is Book Arts. We did the pamphlet stitch and then, get this, we made codex books.

A codex books, for those who don't know, is the most traditional style, with text block pages stitched together, a mat board cover wrapped in fabric, beautiful end pages. Tah Dah. Here are mine:

In the top photo the small book with bricks is a sample of pamphlet stitch. Tiny, but it works. The larger book, still only 4 x 4, has black and white batik fabric with butterflies. The seamstress in me came right out and took over when making this book. I easily grasp patterns so the codex stitching was a piece of cake and I was able to help the teacher because it was one against ten in that room and she couldn't get to everyone.

She assigned us a final project, due in three weeks. A Passion Book. It's our choice of topic, hopefully something we are passionate about. It must be 5 x 7 minimum with at least four signatures in it and we have to illustrate the inside, too.

MAN ALIVE, I love school!

The other class Heartwood is offering is Book Illustration by Wade Zahares. Check this man's work, it is amazing. He does everything on the round. Try drawing like this, I challenge you. In this class we select any topic, he does children's books, we do whatever we like, and he walks us through the entire process of illustration, right from receiving the manuscript to final corrections.

Creative Every Day...(I'm keeping a journal on this, folks) I think I left off on the 4th day.

1/4...creative dreaming, no kidding, I spent the day being part of a couple of art shows. I imagined the paintings I will do and how excited I will be to receive notice that I was selected to take part of the showing.

1/5...drew sketches in my journal for paintings I will be doing

1/6...um, please skip this entry.

1/7...painted backgrounds on three canvases

1/8...spent the day in illustration class, made a story board for the project, shopped for fabrics for the book arts class

1/9...Made two books, the pamphlet and the codex.

And last but not least, since I was feeling full of IT today. I thought I'd share with you some of the other projects I've done in the past three weeks that for some dumb reason I haven't entered in my journal.

Stand tall...16 x 20 acrylic and mixed media. Part of a series of tree paintings that had to come out of me. I purposely did the colors all wrong. Hillary tells me that this piece is awful and I am okay with that. This one spoke to me and so here it is.

Oh, this was for play. 8 x 10 canvas with acrylic and mixed media. This one has newspaper as a base and then it's just marker and swirls. The scan didn't come out so good, you can't really see it clearly. It's just for inspiration for me. I had fun doing it.This one I love. It is 8 x 10 canvas with acrylic paint. I was reading The Artist magazine and found an intriguing article and immediately went to work using a sketch I had done last fall of a neighboring farm. It has a wild, fiery orange under painting which peaks through the entire piece. I used only four paint colors, cadmium red, cadmium yellow and cobalt blue and white. I blended all the rest.

See how I am all over the place in my work??? HA! This one has a true story attached:

Anna's mother made six year old Anna angry. She stormed off to her bedroom. After some time passed she emerged wearing a paper hat on the top of her head.

"What is that, Anna?"

"Please, don't talk to me, I am wearing my Alone Cone."

EEE GADS if that didn't crack me up! Anna had indeed rolled some newspaper into a cone shape and written the words Alone Cone on it. Soon, alone cones, appeared everywhere. You had to know I'd want to make one.

My version has stamped words: Do Not Disturb. I also put the alonest (okay, not a word) donkey I could imagine, Eeyore. It has a ripped fabric tassel, buttons and pages from a Winnie the Pooh book.

Okay, Leah, how did I do?

I've Been Holding Out on You

2008-01-04T05:58:00.000-08:00

Being happy, being healthy, being wiser. That's me.

I have been searching my soul A LOT. I have been unhappy with my circumstances. Things needed to change and God Bless the Internet so I could do my research. See:

In December I was losing my mind. No kidding. I was driving myself insane working at this restaurant a couple of towns over. Busting my tail serving customers isn't such a bad thing, I enjoy working hard, but this day when the customer had a $28.86 tab and left me $30 and then left me standing there as they said "Merry Christmas, keep the change," I blew a gasket. That tip was $1.14!! I am worth so much more than $1.14!

I gave my notice that day. Not smart for a woman on her own who's going to school part time.

All's well. Synchronicity played it's part. Following T Harv Eker's instructions on how to make a living doing what you love I had made my list of top ten things I am good at. My top three things: creative endeavors, writing, health & wellness. Shortly after I made this list it happened. The wellness thing came into play, and long-story- short, I am now an Herbalife Independent Distributor.

I did my homework on this. It's not just about weight loss, it's about good nutrition and complete wellness. The company is 27 years old. There is Nobel prize scientists and doctors researching and in turn producing the products. The products are all-natural (another HUGE point in my life, because I don't believe in synthetic drugs).

People who know me locally have long commented on my interest in wellness, my need to be fit and my deep interest in nutrition, particularly organic or all-natural versions. So I'm fussy!!

Here I am, I am a product of the products. I take the multi-vitamin shake and a few of the other supplements and my energy level has flown through the roof. No more mid-afternoon sluggishness. I feel I can take on the world! And, I say this gently, I know I'm no heavyweight, but the last ugly 5 pounds I wanted to lose is melting from my frame. My quick metabolism is BACK!

Herbalife offers weightloss and weight mangement...& (I am so excited)...targeted nutrition for your various needs (women's issues, eye health, kids supplements, sports & fitness drinks, etc)

SO, dear readers...

Yes, I will occassionally discuss these products here.

Yes, I will put up a permanent link to my herbal nutrition webs site and

yes, I feel rejuvenated and renewed at a cellular level and will joyfully share this with you.

I can't wait to apply my new energy to the other projects I have coming up for 2008 which I will discuss with you as soon as I can. Wishing you a happy, healthy new year.

This is an open invitation to those of you who want to feel better, contact me any time at all.

Creative Every Day Challenge-Post 1 and MY HANDS DOWN BEST CREATIION EVER!

2008-01-04T05:40:00.000-08:00

*Oh dear*... I did sign up for this, didn't I?! Just kidding. I am excited to be pushed into remembering to do SOMETHING for my creativity each day. So far it's gone like this:

Jan 1...I did a long post on this here blog. It took a long time and a lot of thought. I love the act of writing and do it almost daily. You'll see it quite a lot here as my CED08 entry.

Jan 2...I designed my new business cards for the other business I opened in December. If this intrigues you then read the next post I do.

Jan 3..Two things. I did a doodle on an envelope. I happened about a website that had a photo of an ancient coin with an owl on it. I was mesmerized and instantly pulled out an envelope, because it was the most handy, and sketched it out in marker. And secondly, I made a delightfully colorful New England dinner. Salmon pie (think mashed potatoes and pink salmon mashed together in an amazing flaky pie crust), served with pickled beets (bright red goodness), homemade cranberry sauce (sweet, tangy & deep red) & a pile of green beans served with a hoppsy-good beer. Eee gads. Perfection.

December creative every day thingy's were many. I did a bunch of sewing projects, made multiple Fimo clay beaded projects, painted several things (small paintings, big paintings), wrote prayers (a great and growing love of mine), baked yummy sweet treats for Christmas, made jewelry. Gads, I did okay. Leah really has me hooked on this creative every day thing. Sorry there aren't any pix, I stink at dragging the camera out.

And now...MY HANDS DOWN BEST CREATION EVER....this was NOT part of the CED challenge:

Meet Danny. When he was looking over my shoulder a bit ago and saw a post with a picture of his sister his green eyes said "Now put a picture of me." Glad to oblige. Six feet of sweetness. He shaved his head two weeks ago and I miss this big mop of hair. Regardless, he is an amazing piece of art.

Out With the Old..goodbye 2007

2007-12-31T04:15:00.000-08:00

Last year Jill Badonsky sent out her newsletter with a great way to end the year. I took to it like peanut butter takes to jelly. I offer it up again this year, and this time I am posting it for all to see. It's all in good fun and forces you to think back a bit which is something I'm not so good at. I generally can't remember what I ate for breakfast today. For that matter I can't remember where I put the instructions to Jill's writing prompt. Off the cuff it goes like this, answer each of the following prompts:

man of the year-Danny. My son. I watched in full and complete angst as he would stumble and fall, stumble and fall, stumble and fall. I cried when he did. I smiled as he was able to smile. I prayed and begged for him to be whole again. Unfortunately, it consumed my year. But what do you do when you madly love that which you cared for all of his 19 years. You love and support and cry on their behalf. He will be my man of the year for 2008, too, but in a whole new context. This year, like the baby robin first taking flight he will leap, I will cover my eyes and turn away, and much to both of our suprise, his beautiful wings will catch the breath of God and he will be on his way.

woman of the year- Rhonda. This is a woman who at one point when I barely knew her, held me in her arms as I wept like a baby over my impending divorce. She is now a regular in my daily thoughts. She lifts me up, she laughs and cries when appropriate and more than anything she helps me care for my Spirit. We have big work to do together.

poignant moment of the year-January 11, 2007, 11:00. "You are now divorced. " How on Earth the Universe arranged for it to be just Martin and I and a judge in a huge courtroom with him on his side of the aisle and me on mine, not another soul to witness the dissolution of marriage, I will never know. Poignant, painful beyond words. It was done. His beautiful sad face, the river of tears that was heaving my chest and this perky little blonde judge who doesn't know us from Adam declared it done. It will stay with me forever, the day I divorced that man. The significance of the date and time indicate New Beginnings, it didn't feel it at the time but as I approach a new January 11 I can see my growth, and his. New beginnings, indeed.

movie-This is hard because I don't love movies so I will go with the one that has affected the entire world: The Secret. I have long been a believer in the law of attraction. I have known its power. The makers of this movie have done many people a great service in teaching the power of your personal thoughts.

book of the year-Two choices: Secrets of a Millionaire Mind by T Harv Eker...excellent for changing the way you handle your money thoughts and money actions. Fascinating and powerful, it affects every day now. Secondly, and I still have about 50 pages to read: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I know, I know, I was a little slow getting on the band wagon for this one and now that I have it in hand I stand ON TOP of the band wagon singing the praises for this book. See, I AM Liz Gilbert. She nailed it in the introduction when she discusses her marriage. From that point I was hooked. She nailed it when she discusses her views on religion/spirituality. She nailed ME when she was not letting go of her control issues. Se nailed me when she describes her miserable failings at meditation and how frustrated she became with it. And oh, when she described the pizza in Naples, well, that's just too personal to discuss here.

dining experience of the year-The Old Post Office Cafe, Mt. Vernon, Maine. A tiny converted postoffice on the shore of a serene lake. The specials are posted on the huge blackboard behind the counter. Grab a breakfast burrito, Carpe Diem coffee and sit on the screened-in porch while you mingle with the townies. Heaven in a wheat wrap.

vacation of the year-VAY-CAY-SHUN, heard of it before. Haven't done it in years however I did take a lovely day trip to Belfast which I posted about.

learning experience of the year-Letting Go seemed to be the theme for 2007. Can I just say I failed miserably?! I think I will take it on again for like, say, three months. I have released some things on the earthly level but my spirit has been gripping these same things with white knuckles saying "NOOOOOOOO, don't leave me" therefore keeping this heavy baggage shackled to my life. It is being whispered in my ear continuously, "Let go". And damn, I am trying!

acknowledge people I met-This is easier. Jes Berry, Leah, Heidi, Melba, Mindy, Angela, Tori, Lauri Gilcrest, Debba, Kat Logan, Jim, Heartwood College students (too numerous to mention, all wonderful people)

people I released-Have we discussed this already? Not good at this. How about if I say I did release at least a handful of people, I won't tell you their significance, I will just say their names so that it is written out of my soul: Sheri, Roland, Carrie, Denise, Reynald...

when joy seemed prevalent-each and every time I drive/drove to Kennebunk to my school. My Happy Place. It washed over me like a thick, sweet honey. My whole being just relaxed and all of my "issues", as I will politely call them, sat in the back seat of my car strapped in with duct tape over their mouths. No problems, no worries, no nothing until I was done my day of art school. Without fail as I got in my car I could see him. Issues. There he was, wriggling and wrangling himself out of his carseat and peeling the duct tape off his big mouth, ready and eager to invade my thoughts. "DAMN YOU!" I protested right out loud, "next time you're riding in the trunk."

Okay, there it is. Now you do it. There is more to this writing prompt and I will offer it up next week. Go ahead and link to my post if you end up deciding to try this.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, beautiful 2008. Dance, my friends, just dance.

Happy Holidays from Sunflower Studio!

2007-12-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

It's Nut Puff day here at the homestead. I've been making these delightful little melt-in-your-mouth treats since I was sixteen years old. I ripped the recipe out of a Seventeen magazine in 1984 and have been torturing my family with them ever since.

Nut Puffs

1 c. butter, softened

1 tsp. vanilla

1/3 c. confectionary sugar

2 c. flour

1 c. ground, minced or chopped walnuts (depends on your own fancy how fine you do this)

*You'll need one additional cup of the confectionary sugar for later...

Combine butter and sugar, beat by hand until well blended. Add nuts. Add vanilla. Beat in flour. Shape in to small balls (approximately 1 1/2" in size) and place on a baking sheet about 1" apart. Bake them for 20 minutes at 325 degrees. Remove from baking sheet and while the lil' buggers are still are still warm do this: Put that reserved one cup of confectionary sugar into a brown paper bag and throw the puffs into the bag and give it a good shake. Be gentle, you don't want them breaking up because then you'd have to eat all those small parts by yourself! (eeek!)Anyway, shake the nut puffs to coat them with the confectionary sugar, remove them from the bag by using a slotted spoon.

Tah-Dah....Holiday Delight! This recipe makes 72 little pieces of heaven. I dare you to eat just one. I generally make two or three batches right before Christmas, any more than that and my waistline explodes.

Thinking of you my bloggy buddies. Have a great holiday, see you when it's over. *hug*

Blackle

2007-12-13T04:49:00.000-08:00

Hey, did you know it costs less in megawatt energy hours to use a dark screen? My younger brother introduced me to Blackle.com (Powered by Google.com) just this week. He informed me of this energy saving tip. Being a lover of Mama Earth I jumped on board and switched my homepage to Blackle. Same information, dark screen. Click here if your're curious about seeing a pix of my handsome young brother, he looks like a young Randy Travis.

Upon reading the info provided by Blackle.com I thought I'd give darkening my blog a go. I try to be conscientious of my choices in order to preserve the Earth that I so love but I don't want to be a pest to those who do read my blog so the question is this:

1) Does it bother to you read against a dark background??
2) Will you consider using Blackle.com in an effort to conserve energy and therefore Mama Earth?

Here's the tag: Blackle.com...saving energy one search at a time (THEY TOLD ME TO SAY THAT!)

Be Authentic...

2007-12-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

This is a series titled Authenticity. Watercolor paper as my canvas. Acrylic, chalk, effy stuff, you know, mixed media. Two things happened that made me think about being authentic. It went like this.

I was thinking of how to gift my young teenage friends at Heartwood College of Art. There are four of them and they have made such an impression on my heart. I am den mother. That's what they call me. They ask my opinion. We have deep discussions, I buy them chocolate.

"What could I do" I kept asking myself "They are all so different." Take Anna for example. Her hair is pink, purple, green, blue and maybe even brown. I don't know what color her real hair is, she loves to add spark to her hair. She loves the movie the Labryinth and loves to swear.

JoAnna has hair that reaches her bum. She has huge brown eyes and a beautiful smile. She attends church faithfully, speaks softly and carefully. She's gentle and focused and accepts everyone.

Nathaniel is a spark! He's done every drug known to man and is a walking pharmacologist. He admits to his downfalls and he is stressed out a LOT for someone his age. He is convinced of his short time here on earth and he is a DOLL!! He won my heart almost in the first hour I met him. His pain reminds me of someone close to me. And I can't forget that he's a poet, too.

Desaraie is just so sweet, the face of a little fairy. "I'm not gonna lie" she said on the first day "I can't draw." She is going to school for photography but her heart is with her many pets. The dog, the fish, the cat. Oh her tender heart and her lazy boyfriend have taught me tons.

See, they're different these kids, and I want them to know that different is good. I want them to stay different, keep their qualities even when the world says they shouldn't. It's hard sometimes because you just want to fit in but really now, how do you put a square peg in a round hole? I wish someone had told me how to keep my authenticity. I am just now returning to myself.

In honor of my friends in color and design. I love you.

11 x 14...different is good.

The next two came to be in this way:

I've had a few days off now and am still absorbing the new energy from my spiritual retreat. Yesterday I spent a little bit of time on the net checking my horoscope etc. I went to check Celia Fenn's monthly report of the energies for this month as well. She had a message about the request to be authentic. It was a detailed account of how good it is for your soul and how to go about it. The words touched me. It was what I needed to hear.

Living in small town America can really squelch a persons growth. When people glance at you sideways and then lift their hand to cover their whispers it cuts deep and steals from you. I have always felt different and finally when I decided to just be me the whispering began. It's a struggle that I want to win.

Below are two paintings based on the information from the message of Celia Fenn.

Don't Resist the Flow, 10" x 10", mixed media

You Don't Need to Fit In, 10" x 10", mixed media

Then it was on to fimo fun. I made covered bobby pins, earrings, necklaces, pendants, and MORE! Now I just have to package them.

And then....
Okay, so I don't generally end my entries with a giNORMOUS picture of my face, but here I am in all my authentic glory. Heh heh. I woke up happy and willing to just go with the flow.

I slipped out of my pink polka dot jammies (did you have any doubt about my bed attire?) into some jeans a smart black t-shirt and my favorite denim-go-to-studio overshirt. I donned the new earrings I made and embellished the overshirt with a pink fimo pin. The hair, she called for ponytails and I was thrilled to discover my hair has gr0wn enough to comply.

HERE I AM WORLD! Authentically me. Silly. Quirky. Unusually happy (considering). Still sporting blue eyes and adding crows feet and laugh lines daily.

Tam I am. Huh, whooda thunk it?

Learn your place in the dance of life and go with the flow. Be authentic.

Attach Yourself to Joy

2007-12-04T10:55:00.000-08:00

This art titled Stand Tall, 16 x 20" is acrylic mixed media piece on canvas, it is one of a series of three. I did this during AEDM and it took a really long time to complete for some silly reason. But it is done now. It made me happy as I worked on it. I love the background swirls.I love that trees aren't yellow but this one is. I love that dirt isn't red but my dirt is. I love the swirl leaves in the trees. I love that leaves aren't blue but mine are. Going up the trunk of the tree is the words "realize your importance". In the leaves of the tree it says " give a good quality", "Try to do good" and "love yourself". Ground yourself....Stand Tall. JOY!

I spent the weekend at a spiritual retreat in New Jersey. I went with a really special girlfriend. I feel rejuvenated, refreshed and full of love and life. I promised God I would live joyfully (among other things), he has promised to walk with me always. Ahhhh, I needed time with like-minded people. I needed to dig deep into my soul and I did. I came away empowered and wanting to empower others. Joy!This handsome dude was playing Brazilian music, maybe Mexican...anyway, on the streets of Salem Mass last month when I did a brief visit there. I am such a sucker for street musicians. I was swept away by his music, the romantic staccato beat and (he he) the lovely dark hair. I bought his CD as my daughter stood down street rolling her eyes and covering her face groaning, "Mom, not again." Now I listen to this music as I create. JOY!

What doors will open for you when you own your joy? Another group hug? I thought so....

MUAH!!

Fluffy Stuff-just for funsies!

2007-11-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

For you my bloggy friends. Isn't this hand and paintbrush image so cool? I was about to use it this morning when I thought of you. Maybe she'd like one of these, says I. I answered myself, Yes, she would. So have at it. Use this wherever your lil' heart desires. Click. Copy. Paste. Glue. Glitter.

Think of me when this you see. He he he.

This is the front of my 2008 datebook. No more expensive datebooks for me. I took a freebie at the bank, covered its logo with my stickers, added pretty scrapbooking tabs to divide it to my liking and VOILA (btw~that's French for voila)....my 2008 life in a book.

The next pix is the back of the book, a gentle reminder: Life Life. If Kelly Rae can put her life schedule on big yellow posterboard then so can I!! If Mindy and Leah can design their own journal/datebook/lifebinder then so can I!!

I'm feeling kind of silly today. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and man-oh-man it is amazing!! When life clicks, the cogs match up, the steam starts pouring out and life takes a sharp right turn that sets you off in a new direction suddenly the air seems fresher, the colors seem brighter and oddly enough even my coffee tastes better (impossible!)

Blogging is good.

Group hug now.

Muah!

I'm off to school.

Catching Up on Art Every Day

2007-11-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone! I haven't fallen away, just been busy getting a grip on the holidays and whatnot. Life sure is a whirlwind sometimes but at least I've been able to be creative every day. I don't think I can properly share all the creativity I've put out to the Universe lately but I can at least share these with you... Enjoy.

More sketches from my work days. Negative space. Positive space. A copy of a coffee cup from a Bully Hill Wine poster. A bird design from one of our Italian chicken pitchers at the cafe. Nothing too difficult here, just keeping my hand and brain busy whilst I wait for the first table of guests to arrive.

Oooooh. Fufillment. Another Klimt piece. This one is again one inch by one and one half inches big (or small). I really enjoy doing these little take-offs. Fun. Challenging. More to come, I'm sure of it.

Pink fimo beads, hand blended and layered in a pretty variation of pink/reds and smacking with yellow and white. See here the beads, pins and pendant potential!

I also got busy making holiday fimo pins with rhinestones and crystals. I have hats and trees. If you are interested they are available for sale. 1-1 1/2" tall for $8 each I'll be happy to pop one in the mail to you.

Sewing. *sigh* How I love my sewing machine. I took the old girl out and set her up. See, it's like this. I have to do a very homemade Christmas so I hit the big JoAnn Fabric black Friday sale and came out with some real purty things.
Ol' Miss Muffet wants to have a pink kitchen some day so I decided to make an oven mitt, four coasters and a matching apron to go along with some pink coffee mugs. It will make her sweet smile shine. (Okay, that and a Louis Vuitton fake duffle that her Dad will pick up for her, he he).

Speaking of Miss Muffett, here she is!! This is one of her senior pix. She doesn't like this photo but I think it's great. Love the red in her hair, wish I could get mine to do that!

Danny Brother won't let me take his photo. Wish I could show you how cute he is, too. Tall, dark and handsome.

Remember the handmade Christmas I mentioned?? Here is more oven mitts and hot pads. These will got to Cindy-Lou-Who my loverly sister in law, my former Mom-in-law who still thinks I'm that cats pajamas, my dear Mama and one set will go on sale here at my website. I love the muted country colors of these and gosh-darn don't I love polka dots and dingle balls.

Well there, that's it for now. I really did do other creative things, like baking dark chocolate thumprint cookies, onion tainted mashed potatoes, a poster for Thanksgiving at the college, poetry and a whole mish-mash of things.

I hope you're well. I'm wishing you cozy autumn nights by a blazing fire with sketchbook in hand and cocoa in the other. Enjoy this blessed season.

I Saved the Best for Last...scroll down.

2007-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

You may remember that I started this Tarot card last week. I poked at it a few times over the last few days. I added some watercolor pencils strokes that need to be played with using my brushes. This one, as I mentioned before, is a work in progress.

Day 8

More Vespa sketches from the restaurant, on the days I work this is all I can muster.

Day 9

Now remember the Red Shoe entry I did? I started going wild with shoe sketches so these next three have a theme going. How about these bunny slippers? There seems to be a shadow on the scan, but you get the gist of it.

Day 10

More slippers. More bunnies. How many of us tired mothers put on a pair of pink fluffy slippers when we get home and our feet are aching? I don't usually bother to remove my socks, I leave them on, stripes and all.

I kind of wish I hadn't gotten so bold with my charcoal, but what's done is done.

Day 11

Blue, blue, blue suede shoes. Can't you hear the King sing? This one was really fun to make and in person it's a great piece. The scanner isn't doing it justice.

Day 12

Save the best for last, right? Yesterday the art school went on a group field trip to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. Amtrak and then the Green Line subway got us there. We had a super time taking in the work of the Masters and some amazing modern day artists including a huge wall mural by actor Dennis Hopper.

Many times I caught myself with mouth agape. Being in the presence of these important pieces of work left me kind of numb.

One of my favorite artists is Gustav Klimt because of the emotions that I feel when see his work. I literally get all wrapped up in his this painting looking at the loving embrace and the peace in her face as he lovingly puts his lips to her cheek. Oh *sigh*...it's so beautiful.

So this painting is NOT in Boston, it is Vienna, but the museum store sells a silk scarf with this painting on it and in the store the scarf is framed. I kept going back to it and going back to it and going back to it. Subconsciously, that which we find ourselves attracted to is usually our soul speaking to us. "Pay attention, Tammy, what is the message here?" And I know the answer to my reaction of this painting but won't reveal it here.

I came home and googled some more of Klimt's work. I now have a goal to buy a reproduction of this and other Klimt works. His style is something that truly resonates with me. I need to read more of his history.

I printed a pix of his The Kiss work and laid it in front of me and got busy.

This is my version of the kiss. I thought I'd challenge myself. This work is... 1" x 1 1/2" ....yes, for you who are bad with numbers....one inch by one and one half inches... I did it on a scrapbookers chipboard piece. Gesso, acrylic, colored pencil and marker. Looking at it in this size isn't so great, but when it's so tiny in real life, it's a great take off! It took me about three hours start to finish and I'm certain his original painting took him three months to finish, but I am happy with my result.

Today Klimt, tomorrow.....Renoir?

The Challenge Continues

2007-11-08T04:23:00.000-08:00

Here I go again, my entries for AEDM. Leah says anything goes and Monday's don't generally go so great therefore I opted for a quick doodle before dashing off to my job. It's just a doodle but I wanted to prove to the Universe that I am really trying to do Art Every Day. I mean it.

so this is it...Day 5

Now this is a bit more interesting. In Color & Design class Tuesday the Teach finally let us do the hands on thing. We are having to prove our knowledge of mixing colors, this time with Fimo clay. We started with red, blue, yellow black and white and had to blend from there. Once our chosen colors were mixed she showed us jelly rolls and how to make specific patterns. Now I am in love with all things pink therefore I was pretty pleased with the pink, lime green and chocolate beads but I got lots of oohs an ahhs from the black sunflower beads I made. The smaller black stained glass pattern is interesting as well and I would choose it for my second favorite. Do you see the round disk? That is the large pattern that is inside of the black sunflower beads. I reduced it four times. Fimo is fun and slightly painful for these cold, Maine hands. I actually had bruises on the pads of my palms. Whaaaaah! Day 6

Cloth, Paper, Scissors to the rescue! I love that publication and always manage to try at least one project and get inspired by many others. This month I decided to try Miss Kelly Rae's method for producing art. I have long been curious about HOW she did it. Mind you, I don't have interest in reproducing her fabulous angel/girls, but I did want to know about her methods and now I can really play with it!

This red shoe is inspired by two things: Miss Muffetts love affair with shoes and Paul Simons Graceland album (I adore both Miss Muffett and Graceland). There are layers of scrapbooking paper which you can't see well on the scan and then I painted the child-like foot and shoe using Miss Muffetts favorite chunky heeled style and then added glitter diamonds to the soles like the song: Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, my fave song off the album. All in all in real life it's a great piece. I'm not convinced it's museum worthy but some art is for self, right? RIGHT! And oh, this shoe piece is 6 x 8 on watercolor paper and involves some effy, charcoal, acrylic and glue.

I was on a role yesterday!! I love to keep little scraps of watercolor paper hanging about the studio (neatly organized of course) so while I was on a tear with Kelly Rae's method I decided to do an underpainting with the scrapbooking papers again. Then, having seen UllaBanulla's blog yesterday I was enamored with the loose Spencerian style of writing and thought I'd try a bird using a minimal amount of strokes. Tah-Dah. Tiny little birdie is 4 x 6 with all of the same ingredients as the shoe piece, and hey, oddly enough, no words on this one and I really love to add words. Hmmm, very strange.

So the shoe and the bird quantify my Day 7 art and truthfully I also worked on two larger pieces that were undone. But since I lost the chord to my camera I can't transfer pix to my computer until I locate it. So no pix....

The best art of all. Miss Muffet used to LOVE to sit and use the Paint program on my computer. She made millions of digital doodles. This little piggy face is of my pot-bellied pet Abby Rose. I cut it out and keep her little face taped on my computer but beyond that....as I was unpacking from the big move I located one of Hill's many love notes to me. This is from when she was about nine or ten. *sigh* ...sniff, sniff... I showed it to her last night and she just laughed and shook her head. Harumph, KIDS!

Hey, I'm doing all right with the AEDM so far. How are all of you doing? Keep on keeping on... till next time.

Art Every Day contributions...

2007-11-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

What follows is my entries for Art Every Day Month as suggested by dear Leah. I apologize that they are not full blown attempts at canvases or magnificent pieces of jewelry. I am happy if I get in a sketch or manage to complete my art homework as you will see by my images below.

Day One: I decided a while ago to design my own tarot deck with personal symbology and images. This is the first card and how synchronistic that I started it on day one of AEDM. The card is The Fool, number 1 in the traditional tarot deck. I have begun the first layer of color. You will watch as this watercolor image grows to be a many layered piece.

Day Two and Day Three:

Vespa sketches. Yes, when I should be washing down tables at my waitressing job I spend my time sketching the Vespas that hang from the walls. My boss collects them and I find them fascinating, so I sketch them on the back of scrap paper. I plan to do some art based on these sketches.

Day Four:

Complimentary Colors homework assignment. This is not my best work but it was a neccessary to prove my knowledge of blending colors. I finished this today and it took forever and I don't love it, but I need the grade!!

This is it for now ladies. I'm moved into my new crib and I have a HUGE studio space until the end of April at which time I become mobile again. Two more classes for this semester.

I'm ever transient for now.

Sweet Innocence

2007-10-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

I took a very special handsome friend to the Artwalk in nearby Gardiner on Friday night. We had a lovely time strolling the sidewalks and popping in to various shoppes for a look-see. At one location we struck up conversation with a photographer.

I had stepped away to look at something on the opposite side of the room and headed to the door where my special someone caught up to me and escorted me downstreet.

R to me: What kind of medium do you use?

Me to R: Many, I do mixed media things mostly! Why?

R to me: AAH, oh. (sounding kind of sheepish)

Me to R: What just happened?

R to me: Well I had to tell the photographer you were an artist and then she asked me what kind of medium you used.

Me to R: So what did you tell her?

R to me: I answered yes and walked out.

Well my friends, he tried! And I only snickered for ten minutes.

Holding My Own Hand

2007-10-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

...the last time she was spotted she was seen walking down Lover's Lane holding her own hand.

Ain't loving yourself grand??? The above quote is altered just a tad. It was originally said with "HE" but I'm a "SHE" so I took artistic license. Anyway, a dear friend suggested that I respectfully command & demand what I needed to make myself more comfortable in my new job. Well with a lump in my throat and wobbly knees (because this takes practice) I did what she suggested. So things are getting better at work...and I loved myeself for doing what I needed.

**Art wise I was approached by a dealer to show her some of my things.

**I have been meeting some really intriguing people and in turn asking myself what these people have to do with my future

**Color and Design class is still all about values, tints, shades and neutrals. EE gads! I 'm ready for the more heady stuff but have been keenly interested in attending because of the interesting 19 year olds who create lively conversation with me and help me to learn more about my own two teens.

**Jewelry class is done for now. I made a ring, bracelet and two pendants but I didn't love the class so will move on to another medium.

**Bought a new Chevy Aveo. Tiny little box on wheels, it's bright yellow and gets 37 mpg which I need because my school is 100 miles one way.

Thinking of you my bloggy friends and am anxious to be on track again.

Gone for a bit...

2007-10-01T13:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, it's like this... We have closed the cafe and put it on the market and now I am working like a dog at a bigger restaurant, still doing the art school thing, running the hotel and trying hard to maintain a relationship with two teens who are running about. That and the new classes I'm teaching are keeping me kind of busy. Oh, and I have to move in three weeks so I started packing yesterday.

My router broke so I have no e-mail and I swung into my Dad's place to borrow his computer so that I could at least post a quickie on my blog.

Sorry this isn't more positive but for now it's all I have. I am manifesting a better life and this little bump in the road can't keep this old dog down. Gotta run, you won't hear from me for a bit, but I'll be back eventually.

Boy, when I step away from the computer....

2007-09-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

5 x 7 " on acrylic on canvas...USE AN ALTERNATE ROOT...a play on words, what are you growing with your thoughts? My tree offers: possibilities, suprising gentleness, sensational income, friends, riches, sweet relationship, affectionate dispotion, beautiful love.

I really do step away. I have been busy wrapping things up, going to class, being a Mom, and creating some really neat things.

Heartwood is great. Classes with eighteen year olds and classes with sixty year olds, classes taught by women artists of all ages...this is defintely a new life experience for me. I watched quietly as a young teen in my Color & Design class came down off a drug induced high. I was scared and sad. I pet Pencil the college mascot, a brindle colored greyhound. I eat in the community kitchen, powerwalk during my lunch break, get pizza and beer in the evening before my last class and arrive home to my bed at around 10:45.

Art History is suprisingly interesting. I expected boring and dry and much to my suprise I am excited and hungry for more.

Color & Design is filled with young chatter box kids who think it's gross to be naked if you are over sixty. They make me laugh and realize who silly I must hav been at that age, too. Beyond that we are doing the repititive black and white value stuff. Basic, basic. See pointalist drawing below (ugh).
Jewlery Design has too many students and not enough work stations so it is hurry up and wait time. My eyes burn because by this time it is 8:30 at night and I am working with tiny little things up close to my nose.

Did I mention yet the really good time I had with Jes, Mindy, Leah, Heidi and Susan? Wow!! I feel like I've known these ladies forever. I so enjoyed doing the collaborative pieces, the piece I own is called Oz and everyone here loves it!! I'm a little jealous about the flea marketing session that I couldn't attend. I looked at all the pix online and ooooooh, didn't we look like we were having fun!

Today I'm off to the Artisan's Barn, a sweet little post and beam building in a nearby town that displays and sells local artisan's work. I'm going to see if they'll take my things.

Look for more school art soon... In the meantime I need to catch up on blog reading. toodles!

Off to see the wizard...

2007-09-07T05:43:00.001-07:00

It popped into my head so I entered it as a title. I'm off tomorrow to hang with Jes, Leah, Mindy, Heidi and maybe Susan. I think it will be so wonderful! In the meantime great gratitudes to the Beautiful Mystery for the following wonders in my life:

my 19 year old son and his new found wings, please join me in blessing his virgin flight into the real world... go danny go.
my sweet 17 year olds first month at a new school during her last year of public education...shake on, miss muffet.
a dear friend who has become my rock, how lucky for me, heavy for her that she is a counselor and is able to help me through some truly difficult times and still we find for laughing and learning...bless you, rhonda!!
R...delicious smelling, handsome, kind & gentle & understanding, and deep voice that makes my tummy flip when I hear it
Art...madness ensues and always there is the creative spark to soothe me, calm me, & help me lose myself in "the process", some great pieces have developed.
my bed...always i am amazed at the comfort i feel as i fall into the loft of my mattress. i am never too proud to shout "I LOVE BED!" The days are long and the nights are short, so in my house you'd hear this quite a lot.

All is well and all is well, and all in time will be well.

*sigh*

And oh, Heartwood College of Art begins Tuesday...art history, color I and jewelry making.

Threadsketches and Sonny & Cher

2007-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

Flower Pot Moon: mixed media on watercolor paper. The crescent moon has words from music sheets that serendipitously reads: fadeless flow'rs shed a fragrance rare, one by one down the stream of life.
Pansy & Rose: mixed media on watercolor paper. Some of the collage is from a French play that some student long ago was transcribing and in pencil wrote "bold-spirited". Thanks to my pal Jes who had passed along the effy.

Totally outside of my own self-impopsed box I took a flying leap yesterday and much to my own suprise landed strongly on the ground in an upright position. Crop, Paper, Scissors arrived in the mail on Monday, I gobbled it up on Tuesday and on Wednesday dove into a threadsketch. I am remiss in remembering the author/artists name who did the article, but I remember thinking "hmmmm, i can do that." And am I glad I did.

See, I'm a seamstress, too. I spent ten years operating a sewing & design business. I made wedding gowns, bridesmaids dresses, curtains, bathing suits, mittens, purses, tea cozies...whatever someone wanted no matter how hideous (or beautiful) it would be. I burned out. I put away my sewing machine. I kissed it goodbye. Then one day recently I heard it whisper: "Miss Tammy, I'm over here." Over six moves last year I always brought the dang thing with me. I stick it in a corner of a spare room and look at it sideways wondering why I've dragged it along. Now I know.

Ten days ago I stitched up a purse in about 2 hours. It went together like Sonny & Cher I tell you. I could feel my heart open as the time flew by and joy filled me. Sewing is a huge part of me. And yesterday as I put the machine to use on these two paintings I wanted to cry. The joy creeped in again and soon I was giddy. My dear friend Rhonda was so patient with my little screams of bliss.

I owe the author/artist of that article a whole world of gratitude as I begin exploring this concept of threadsketching. In the meantime a question to all of you experienced artist bloggers: How the heck to you get your pix so clear. I scan mine directly, edit just a bit and then drop them in but I never get a clear pix or a close up. What can I do to remedy this? Should I be taking pix directly?

And these are a few of my FAY-VOR -ITE things..

2007-08-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love that old Christmas song...when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feelin' sad, I simply remember my fay-vor- ite things and then I don't feel sooooooo baaaaad. Ahem** I am a lousy singer but not such a lousy writer and in the mean time...a few of my favorite things.

Round bales of hay. What the heck is it about seeing these big straw marshmallows that takes my breath away, I swear I will never know. I like to see them when they are all greenish-brown, I don't like it so much when they are wrapped in white plastic and become the "catapillar" bales when they are placed end to end along the edge of a field.

WHOOOOO made this painting? I did. Bad photo with lots of personal meaning, not really meant for anything but me.

Some groovy Amy Butler lotus fabric and my handy-dandy sewing tools including Memere Sadie's thimble and 100% silk thread. I stitched up a lovely new handbag to keep my goodies in.

My good buddy Scott the King otherwise known as Scott King. He's a Spanish teacher by day and amazing musician by night. And yeah, that's a piece of my art that hangs on the cafe wall behind Scott.

This is Scott singing a Beatles song. Blackbird Fly and Norweigan Wood are two of my favorite tunes that he does nevermind his own writing that are totally amazing. Look to see him on the national circuit sometime because this man has goals!!

That's all for now. Just thought I'd share the love.

Randomness

2007-08-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

This is me for now.

...got a lovely new ring from the Sundance catalog, it was on clearance. It's a beautiful flat freshwater pearl in a hammered sterling setting with a hammered sterling band. So pretty and I have learned how much circles are my symbol.

...been drinking Dunkin Donut's iced coffee like it's going out of style. One a day whether I need it or not. Happen to need one right now!

...school shopping with Miss Muffett went something like this: one for MM, one for me, two for MM, one for me, one lovely pair of danglies for MM, one pair of great fitting jeans for ...ME!!

...finished a great piece of art. Great Horned Owl has made his appearance and asked me to study him. He is the harbinger of change (eegads, do I really need more?) ...he recommends going with the change rather than working against it. Owl goes between our world and spirit world, he sees and hears the things that others can't (a special gift for me to recognize and honor). Any whooo....due to owl being so present I painted him with the very large full moon, acrylics and markers on masonite I am really proud of it but can't get you a pix, it's too big.

... busy successfully manifesting my dreams and am working on another project with a friend. It's a hands on class on releasing blocks and bettering your manifesting. It's great and important work for all of you gals who are tuned in , tapped in and turned on. My friend and I are working to bring power to the Divine Feminine in all of us and you can catch us at a town near you: http://www.soulspeakjumpstart.blogspot.com/ . We'll be holding a class at Wish Studio in November 2007. Join us won't you?!

...summer madness is almost over. Soon the Maine tourists will be gone and I will have a normal life again

...And oh...I highly recommend FOOLSGOLD by Susan Wooldridge. I went like a madwoman through the book and now am doing all the exercises she suggested. I am learning so much about myself, it's amazing! It's good work to clean out your own soul's closet every now and again.

Summah in Maine

2007-08-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

Summer beauty. Aahhhh!

Randomness

2007-08-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

Is that a word?

I've had little time for art, the cafe is hopping busy this summer, we've had no vacancy at the hotel and waitstaff are dropping like flies so I've been on the floor waitressing, too. Just for funsies go here and check the pix of the place. We had a boat parade on Friday, BUT, long story short Mother Nature sent thunder and lightning and we had to clear the lake.

But anyway...I spent Sunday traveling in Mid-Coast Maine with some special people. Popham Beach in Topsham was so packed that the parking area stretched out for one mile along the highway. Thanks, we'll pass.

Forward motion led us to Fort Popham where ALAS there was no parking and some guy driving a little sportscar kept driving in circles trying to find parking. I gave up long before he did and since we didn't want to walk yet another mile to see the beach we said Thanks, we'll pass.

So random sight-seeing it was. We drove past some neat little seaside communities, we smelled the salt air which was amazing and filled me with joy, we ate pathetic little wrap sandwhiches drenched in too much Italian dressing as we sat in an abandoned roadside campsite. We, okay not we, but one of us got stung by a horse fly and we had a damn good time. Damn good I say!

Now it's Monday and I have a lot to do and I wanted to post something so that you wouldn't all be bored. What the heck have you been up to?? Blogging. Swimming. Festivaling. Arting. Antiquing.

And oh, Dearest Susan Tuttle, I found Gloria's and now that I know where it is I am going to make a special trip over there. I'm soooo excited. If nothing else blogging has helped me locate some neat local antique and flea market shops.

Art Again at Last! The Cello

2007-07-30T10:41:00.001-07:00

Here she is....The Cello. Not a great photo, sorry. The spot of light to the right of the image is not there on the real piece. In real life, she's a beauty, I'm proud of her. This is a 18 x 24 piece of masonite done in mixed media.

The background is acrylic paint mixed with Golden's fine sand additive. That was interesting to work with, for sure! The navy blue/gray ground is overlayed with metallic gold and red circles. Under her pale acrylic skin is a cello collaged with sheet music. The neck of the instrument goes all the way into her face while the body of the instrument melds with her own full hips and breasts. Inspiration for this art sat with me for many months. The motivation for was from a poem I read somewhere a year or so ago that opened with the line:

"The cello sounds low and deep from the room with no key,
your fingers pressing deep and I want you to play me"

I loved the poem and that line stuck in my head, nagging me. I will do my best to find the original poem for you my bloggy friends.

It is my intention to do a series of musical-she paintings. I love nudes. I revel at the sight of Renaissance period full-bodied nude portraiture. I hope to develop my skills in that area but finding willing models is not easy. I see a guitar, a saxophone, and more all entwined with SHE-SHE-SHE. Music moves me (and most of you, too) at all levels and I'm really not partial to any particular genre so this is good. I have a wide forum to work in and with. I am excited about it. Guitars really tickle my fancy and I want to work with them in depth. Anyone want to be a model?

And oh, I wrote a poem yesterday (highly unusual for me as I generally shy away from poetry), but I will present it for you later this week.

A Little Spark of Madness

2007-07-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

We are given only a little spark of madness. We musn't lose it.
Robin Williams

Words to live by, don't you think? If only people understood me more. Does anyone else out there struggle with the fact that you stand in your own power? That your spark of madness, your ache to be who you know you are inside of yourself, is too much for the rest of the world to take...

I always thought that saying less was saying more. You probably don't think so after my last really long post, but for me, the excitement of last weekend overtook me and I wanted, nay, NEEDED to share the love. Today I learned that by not sharing personal information regarding a painful experience I had that people who were closest to me have made judgements against me. I thought by sparing people of the gory details, my side of the story, they would appreciate my desire to keep my personal business personal. Not so. It's disheartening but doesn't tear me apart.

I am loving people from a distance, in my heart, without speaking I am asking them for forgiveness. I am recognizing that anything I experience, no matter how ugly, is mine to own. Madness? Maybe. I believe in the goodness of humans. We falter. We all just do.

I am a renegade dreamer, full of power. Artist extrodinairre. Ex-wife. Mother. Friend. Teacher. Blogger.

**The picture is from my restaurant in the 1940's or 1950's. Feel free to print and use it in your art. I am fortunate to have many people drop off old pictures of this place. The three ladies photographed were some orginal waitstaff members.

Riding High with Jewelry, Belfast and Music

2007-07-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

I have been riding high on life. So much good is going on that I may actually be glowing. I will recap the last few days so you can have a taste of the sweetness.

Thursday night, 7/12 good friend Scott King, an amazing musician, came to play a couple of sets at the cafe. He brought his folksy/bluesy music to a head playing some of my favorite tunes that he wrote himself. He stayed late as we laughed and shared beers. (Yes, beers, there can't be any shame in that.)
Friday the 13th...I ate a lovely breakfast at the restaurant, read some blogs and then hit the road for Whitefield, Maine's own Plenty to Do Farm aka Jes Berry's house. Jes had e-mailed directions re-routing me because of road construction. We were so amazed to discover we are a mere 50 minutes away from one another. WOOO HOOO.

I unloaded my pathetic supply of jewelery making thingy ma bobs, a couple of my own art pieces to share, my LifeWater (pomegrante and cherry, mmmmmm), and the cell unit. After a brief tour of her adorable 1800's farmhouse we sat in the newly added sunroom and got busy.

Let me say that Jes's home is lovely. Very comfy and welcoming. She has a lovely sense of style and a knack for hostessing. I felt very at home not only because of her personality but because her color schemes are exactly what I live(d) in. Mustard, sage, painted wood....ahhhhhhhh. And as I was perusing the place I spotted an original Kelly Rae piece. Art envy ensued. But I digress...

Jes generously and patiently showed me some of the ins and outs of Diamond Glaze, wire wrapping and jump ring making. I, in return, showered her living room with clippings of wire thrown by my cheesy wire cutters. It was hilarious and a tad dangerous.
Rudy her lovely aging dog, drooled and teased me all day with an empty water bottle. I think she felt my love of animals. Dakota, Rudy's buddy lay quietly in the corner whilst the kitty, I forget her name rolled around the living space.
I managed to make this necklace called Laugh. It's heavy and a bit itchy but it was my first and I am proud of it. Thank you so much, Jes!! I headed home at 3:30.

Saturday morning was a beauty so a special friend who I'll call R thought we ought to hit the coast. So off we went to Belfast a beautiful diverse town rated one of the top ten in the country for its culteral options. We first crossed the big bridge into Searsport where we went to Moose Point State Park to walk the trails and beach, then attended a small used book store where I picked up a French and Danish encyclopedia for a friend who is having surgery this week. Odd gift, I know, don't ask (he loved it). Because we didn't have the kids with us we bypassed the famous Perry's Nut House knowing we'd be back another time with them in tow. When we got hungry we pulled into Main Street, Belfast and chose to eat al fresco at Dockside's Restaurant. A nice, family oriented, award winning restaurant with great views of town and the ocean. It was getting late so we headed home so I could help with the dinner rush and close the cafe.

Sunday the 15th...The morning was a little dull. I had a mongo thick feeling in my head from lack of sleep (new moon problem for me) so I took a nap from 1:-3:30. It was deliciously naughty and a total treat to sleep in the midafternoon. Anyway. When I arose I made a yummy potato & asparagus salad with honey-mustard dressing for the evenings festivities.

My chariot arrived at 5:30 with R at the reigns. We were invited to a private house concert. The headliner? Pierce Pettis. Neither of us brought directions. Since R has a way of losing information I carefully removed the written directions from his care two weeks ago. Lo and behold I lost the directions...he he he OOPS. Anyway, Spirit was watching because as we were looking rather foolish on the side of the road wondering which way to go R suggested we just start taking each of the side roads until we found the right house. First road on the left and *BLING* (is that the sound of that magic makes?) there we are, front and center, at the address we needed. JOY!!

The home of the couple sponsoring the concert was so stunning. 100' from the most beautiful lake water stood a massive yet tasteful home. What a blessing. The sausages were grilling, I donated my potato and asparagus salad and cracked open a beer. R and I sunk into being ourselves, no masks, just us at our best.

We took second row seats set for a group of 40 people. Scott King opened with a four song set. As you know, I hear Scott sing alot, but this day he was at the top of his game. I was so happy and proud of him. His wife Shauna was there to share in his glory, too. Scott, who had helped arrange the Pierce Pettis concert then introduced Pierce and the party began.

Picture this: a skinny, nerdy looking guy with glasses and curly salt and pepper hair wearing a Guiness Beer t-shirt under a plaid short sleeved button up with jeans and sneaks. EEEE GADS...can this man reallyl be the magical musical genious I've been told of???? Holy Hannah~when this man started playing his guitar and using his vocalsI could have burst into tears. His story-telling folksy/bluesy style completely knocked my socks off. I found myself swaying to the music, tapping my feet and knocking my fingers around. I couldn't sit still. The beautiful part was the spirituality that seeps into his lyrics. After his first set I looked at R and asked for the money to buy a CD, but he already had his wallet out and was headed to the table.

In between drinking tons of water Pierce enthralled the audience with stories about the songs and their history. He spoke of his Alabama childhood and his current life on the road. He sand a song he wrote for Garth Brooks titled "You Move Me" and there are several other big names that have sung his lyrics that I can't even remember.

The second set of tunes was melancholy. I found myself wanting to sob. He sand "Black Sheep Boy" and images of my 19 year old son went through my head as he warbled "i pray each night for your protection, my black sheep boy." Had Pierce Pettis met my son? And damn him if he didn't go on to sing "My Little Girl" singing how"You dance and twirl and twirl, always remember you are my little girl". I was choking back the tears, today as I remember the words to the songs I can cry, there is no R to watch and wonder.

I said to myself AMEN as Pierce finished the set with an old fast paced blues number that was once done on Bob Dylan's World Gone Wrong album. Pierce was completely taken over by the music. His body shook, his guitar was laughing and bouncing with giddiness and I was nearly taken over with the excitement of the song.

When it was all said and done and Pierce had done two standing ovations I was honored to share my thanks and praise of his music. I aquired an autograph and left the party grinning. During the music I saw a whole collaged piece go through my head, the setting, the music, the scent of the place all done on one big canvas. I hope it comes out as I sketched it in my journal. I will call it Pierce.

So there it is. Life is good. Music. R. Belfast. Jewelry making. There is so much I left out of this post that I can't even put to words about the past weekend I will leave the rest to your own imaginations. I hope I haven't over-shared and at the same time I hope I have inspired you enough to look into the music of Piece Pettis and Scott King, the jewelery making and teaching talents of Jes Berry and the cultural action of Belfast, Maine.

I sit here knowing I've been blessed.

Danger Dog Will Bite Your Bottom

2007-07-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

I told you I have been busy. This is Willie, my half golden-half Irish dog who crossed over in 2005 . He was a beauty to behold all golden and auburn with long curly hair.

This was done on a 6 x 8 canvas. There are seven layers of acrylic paint on the background. I used my tiniest scissors to do scherrenschnitte for the silouette and there is some gorgous black and white designs from sheet music that my boy Willie is standing on. His collar is red cardstock and the ring is gold wire. Of course the scan doesn't do the color justice. There's lots of mustard and rose. There are rings of black and gold along with a thin layer of white.

I so enjoyed this "Ode to Wilie" that I made two of these so they could face one another on the wall. I feel confident is poking his nose at my knee as he did, wanting my attention and saying to me "Hey, did you get rid of the pig yet?" He didn't much like Abby Rose.

More info on my current pot-bellied pet Abby Rose, to come in future posts.

Now this thing is just a simple doodle I did over coffee and contemplation this morning. I ADORE my markers and luckily enough they sit mightily close to my kitchen table in a drawer that is almost full to capacity of these lovely colorful sticks. I doodle constantly and often wonder if people who pass by my desk question whether or not I do any work. I rely heavily on Zig scrapbooking markers because I delight in the choice of one thick end and one fine point end.

Tomorrow I am off to hang with Jes at the Plenty To Do Farm. She'll be in her jammies probably and I'll be in my comfies, too. We have our work cut out for us. Stay tuned.

2007-07-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

I'm reading and writing and working and doing the art thing. Life is good and full right now. I'm blessed beyond words to feel so inspired. Hmmm, inspired...good word...inspiration is Divine's way of speaking to us. When we are inspired things fall into place, everything is right where it should be and all the right things happen, you just know it is 'meant to be'.

For me right now this means the right book that makes perfect sense, the conversation that happened at exactly the right time, the piece of mail with the right message. On and on I see the beauty of what the Universe is offering me, if only I accept and say Yes.

This past week I said yes to a book. Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len speaks to me at all levels. Accepting total responsibility for EVERYTHING that appears in my life and then working to heal it makes my heart feel better. I want to heal. I want to be a leader and a teacher of healing. In order to do this I must set the example. Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiin method of healing that brings our souls back to a clean slate. It is a simple method and is deeply profound. I remain moved to tears at the depth of this learning.

This past week I said yes to healing. Divorce has left me weary. Myself, (ex)husband and children are hurting, but finally I see a light at the end of the tunnel. A shift has occurred in all of us and I can see that better days are ahead.

This past week I said yes to my future. I registered for my first three classes at college. I signed up for an all day conference on a subject that interests me. I have begun to look at moving to a new area of Maine.

The past week I said yes to me because if I don't love me then how can I expect you to love me?

ARTSY NOTE: I'm working on some fun stuff...two great little mixed media canvases and the darn necklaces are just about done.

And they laughed...

2007-06-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I am not into Flickr yet. I don't own a decent camera. There I went...off to the Wish Studio event with a pathetic disposable thingy. Jes laughed shamelessly and told me to put it away, but not before I managed to get in a few shots...
I offer the following:

This is Leah, Melanie, Me and Jes outside the Red Brick building that Mindy has the Wish Studio space in. I think the brick arch is great! Thank you to the young gentleman wearing black who took our photo using my disposable camera!

Would you really let these two be alone in TJ Maxx?

BELOW: the one and only Miss Muffett goes to Prom...HEY, doesn't that sound like a Muppet movie title? And by the way that is the view I get at work every day from the cafe.

She's SOOOOOO purty! A Grecian Goddess.

Since I don't know how to move these pictures around you will have to bear with this. The photo below is of the mantel at my rental house. It holds three pieces of art I did recently. I posted it to prove to you that I really actually do work in my makeshift studio.

The picture below this one is of Miss Muffet and her Blue Weimeraner, Otto. Isn't he gorgeous. I meant SHE, isn't she gorgeous. NO, WAIT! I mean THEM. "THEM" ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Oh, that was fun...sharing. *sigh* I will be out for a bit and won't be posting till next week sometime unless I turn agressive and do the meme I was tagged for by Leah. I may do that on Friday, we'll see. Till then my friends, stay tuned in , tapped in, turned on. And...

... listen to the breeze at dawn, it has secrets to tell, do NOT go back to sleep.

Just So You Know...

2007-06-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm going to keep things short and sweet for a little while so I can catch my breath. Summertime is so busy with the cafe plus my own mini-vacation coming up. I've been cranking out some art, hanging loose a bit and a mish mash of other things. Here's a synopsis:

Evan Almighty...worth seeing! In certain parts I couldn't stop giggling. Real fun.
The Jazz Singer...okay not THE jazz singer but A jazz singer came to the cafe on Friday and man did she belt out some beautiful tunes. She had the entire cafe in the palm of her hands, what a joy to watch (and listen to).
Necklaces...I finished up a bunch of the necklaces from the previous post.
Freeport...I took a side trip to Freeport on Saturday to go to the bead shop for a little tammy time. I got some gorgeous rose luster chezk glass beads for some future something or other. I selected some lovely pale green vintage glass beads for Miss Muffet. They will match her eyes perfectly.
Paola Nutini's Last Request...the newest song I can't hear enough of.
Simplified Kabala by Ted Andrews...I'm open to reading anything and everything. I should have been a theology major. This book is a primer for the heavier stuff. I am really wanting to know more on Kabala and will take a class on it soon.
Gritty McDuff's in a cold glass...need I say more?
The Red Sox...whilst wearing an Ortiz t-shirt.

Maybe that doesn't sound like a lot but add work and painting in there and you have a full day.

TONIGHT...Spaghetti and Meat Squares. Who said meatballs have to be round? It is the family joke that I never masterd meatBALLS and now I make a pan of meatloaf, cut it up and they are meat SQUARES, add some marinara and 'sketti....delish. Company is coming, gotta get out my best paper napkins. Anyone wanna join?

Jewelry Tags

2007-06-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

I made these jewelry pieces over the last week. They are polymer clay, many layers of paint and Sculpey Sealer. I will add thin silver chording and some beads to set them as a 16"

necklaces. Lightweight to wear & kinda fun, don'tcha think?

My Little Secret

2007-06-19T08:37:00.001-07:00

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

This made me laugh out loud today when I read it. It's funny what makes me laugh. I have a really unusual sense of humor that most people don't see. An employee told me today that he didn't realize this side of me until this morning when I nonchalantly walked up to him and buttered the back of his hand because it was resting next to my toast. People percieve me as uptight (translate this to "conservative"), this I don't understand. I feel silly and naughty most of the time, but I guess that's my little secret.

I think my strong creative imagination is what makes me get so deeply involved in my own sense of humor. Like that saying above, I instantly pictured a dragon holding a stick-straight human being and dipping it in ketchup and snacking with a little spittle coming from the dragon's lips. The scene just tickles me. Sick? maybe. Funny? to me, yes.

I laugh till I cry. I hiccup and lose my breath. I've almost passed out with deep laughter. Sometimes I fall. Many times I lay myself down so that I don't get hurt. I really do like a good laugh. NO~ I'm really not as uptight as you think, but that is my little secret.

PLENTY TO DO

2007-06-15T05:03:00.000-07:00

Good Summer Morning Bloggy Friends!! I feel amongst the missing these days but there is much going on and I thought I'd just let you know what's up:

busy little cafe and motel have me taking reservations and serving hot food
organizing for Miss Muffetts senior pictures, today we are off to pick some new clothes
graduation for a sweet niece
huge physical energy shifts creating mongo big headaches
an interesting painting that I want to get right is in the works and keeping me busy
journaling~OY, i have two new journals on various topics started
housework and gardening and laundry, oh my!

Maybe that doesn't sound like a lot but it feels like a lot and I just wanted to let you know that I'm around and reading blogs, but can't post a ton right now.

Next week Jes and I are getting together for a mutual learning session. I as student, her as teacher. She'll be practicing her teaching skills on me. I can't wait. Jes is hilarious and I have a raw funnny bone, so I am totally looking forward to this experience. Besides, I love the drive over to her area AND I am in love with old farmhouses and I'm told The Plenty To Do Farm has well, PLENTY TO DO. (Heavens, like I need more...*sigh*)

Loosey Goosey

2007-06-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was studio day. I spent all day creating and humming and doing little dances. Wee oh, it was a blast. I started with clay jewelry and ended in a multi-media work that is still in progress.

I did some loose watercolor in between the jewelry and mm piece. This geranium picture I like. It is really loose for me, the self-titled uptight artist. I am working hard at being more loosey-goosey in style so for me this was a stretch.

I also did the self portrait that I am posting next to my profile. Except for the blue skin and red nose it really actually looks like me. And oh, the mole on my chin isn't green in real life. But you knew that, right?

Goodness Prevailed

2007-06-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

I would no more quarrel with a man because of his religion than I would because of his art.
~Mary Baker Eddy

Ahhh, the Wish Studio. It was fun.

Jes and I clicked right away, we are remarkably similar. Together we laughed and learned, ooohed and aahhhhed, tsk-tsked and cluck-clucked our way through Friday and Saturday. Goodness prevailed.

Alas, I have no photos to proove the party, but believe me, it was one. New friends, good food and bad table service, some mightily warm weather, high heels, parking issues and room WITHOUT a lake, and a dress that was a puzzle. All of this left me feeling inspired to create more. More what? More anything!

Before leaving the big city Jes and I hit the Art Supply Wholesale store in Beverly and unloaded our wallets whilst loading up the Xterra. Bonanaza!! With two arms loaded down with fresh supplies we traveled to our respective homes and I hit the studio when I should have hit the bed pillow. (I'm still a tad foggy from lack of sleep). Regardless of my thick-headedness I have been working trial-and-error style on some jewelry and so far I like the outcome. I will be posting results soon. I've set up the new easel I purchased and my head is spinning with painting ideas so I Wednesday will be painting day this week.

Many thanks to the lovely people I met on Friday, in particular Kelly, Angela, Mindy, Melanie, and Leah. You are some good stuff! Please keep in touch.

Have a Fairy Good Weekend!

2007-05-31T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hey friends, have a super-dee-super weekend I wish you the "fairy" best of everything that is good and wonderful...till we meet again.

Watch Out Wish Studio

2007-05-30T04:22:00.000-07:00

Friday Jes and I are off to the opening of Wish Studio. Friday morning we are going to meet centrally and then head off to southern Maine for some great lawn saling and antiquing, then it's fast forward to Beverly Mass where the lovely Miss Moreau has made arrangements for us at a motel. Here we'll freshen up and put on the ritz, no not crackers, the glam! Not too glam mind you, prolly just some awesome shoes.

At Wish Studio we're going to rub elbows with Mindy, Leah, Melanie and a host of other indie artists. I am so excited and anxious to meet everyone. I can only imagine how sore my jaw will be for smiling and laughing endlessly. A little wine, good company and a camera makes for a heck of a memory.

Day Two. Hopefully Jes knows some good eateries because I love breakfast. I have been spoiled by my cafe cooks. (If you're ever coming to central Maine stop here: LakeShore Guesthouse and Cafe for good food and comfy rooms all next to a beautiful lake. Anyway, we'll eat and then head back to Wish Studio for the Indie Arts Show. Last week Mindy posted about the artists and I was all pins and needles as I read about all of them.

We're off and running in two days. This is going to be good.

No Accident

2007-05-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in accidents. I believe in synchronicity.

Three days ago I was in a bad place. Emotionally speaking I was a wreck. I came to my blogger dashboard and opened a post I'd written a month ago titled This Too Shall Pass concerning the transience of everything. I added a bit to it, tried hard to breathe in my own type-written lesson, I edited it again and pressed "publish". I logged out of my account and went about my miserable day.

Fast forward into the next day, Wednesday, I think. I look at my blog to see if anyone read my new post. Much to my suprise I discovered the post never went public and not only that- it is no longer anywhere in my dashboard. The whole document has disappeared. Now I can't say that I didn't grumble, I did, but I quickly realized perhaps the Universe just needed me to hear my own message and then *kiss it goodbye*.

My blogging friends you'll never get to know the lesson of This Too Shall Pass unless I end up rewriting it. I'm not going to bore you with what was weighing me down, it is enough to know I was hurting. Chances are good that I'm just going to let that subject be, I will accept the fact that I did what I needed to do by reading its content and learning from my own words.

I believe so strongly in the synchronicity of the Universe I feel my message was intercepted by love and light. Do you believe in SYNCHRONICITY??!

TAG...I'm it.

2007-05-18T08:35:00.001-07:00

I have never been tagged before and this is so wicked cool. Apparently upon being tagged I must answer to the original issue and then tag another. I've never played blog tag, so here I go.

4 jobs I have held: seamstress/dressmaker(self-employed 10 years), shoe department clerk at the local Ames department store, loan department clerk People's Heritage Bank, secretary to the superintendent of schools, Jay School Department, Jay Maine
4 movies I can watch over and over: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (with Jim Carrey), The Wedding Singer (with Adam Sandler), Robin Hood (with Kevin Costner), National Lampoon's Family Vacation (with Chevy Chase)..terrible, I know. I lean toward comedy or complete historical truths. My preference is the comedy.
4 places I have lived: Turkey Lane, Livemore (current), God's Country USA otherwise located in Jay, Maine. A beautiful 300 acre 100 year old farm that I/we had a chunk of where I/we built a gorgeous three bedroom cape house. Picture rolling hills with round hay bales peppering the view. Long Pond camp in Livermore, Maine, and then again, back to Jay, Maine. My final answer is two stays in Jay, Maine and two stays in Livermore, Maine. Maine it is.
4 Catagories of TV programming I enjoy: I don't really like much TV but when I do watch it's generally Sienfeld reruns, American Idol, SportsCenter and some PBS.
4 Places I have been on Holiday: Old Quebec City in Canada, North Conway NH, Camden/Rockport, Maine, and Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I've only recently developed a desire for travel.
4 of my Favorite Dishes: Pizza. Steak. Anything Breakfast. Coffee. (If coffee doesn't qualify as a dish then I'll just stick with three.)
4 websites I visit daily: I'm a simple girl. I read my bloglist daily, google.com A LOT, postsecret weekly, weatherunderground.com daily
4 places I would rather be right now: at the bank making a deposit of half a million dollars into my personal savings account, sucking on a cup of coffee with my gal pals while discussing the roles of spirituality in our lives, creating something with my hands (dinner, art, sewing), or any place quiet where I can have a low key discussion with someone I care about (my kids, a friend, a parent, a store clerk).

Hey, how'd I do? There I am in all my glory. Sometimes these things are hard! I really had to reach on the movie thing and the where I want to be thing. And oh, the website thing. See, I'm really not especially wanting anything more than where I'm at. Sometimes that is good, sometimes it isn't.

Thank you Tori, that was fun. And now I pass the baton to: Jen

Wednesday Play Day Art

2007-05-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

There's some fun stuff I did while hanging out at my kitchen table yesterday. And oh, these are little. Real little. The tree of love is 4 x 6, the daisy is 3 x 3, the highest joy is 6 x 6 approx.

Second Chances and Tax Breaks

2007-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:00

*These are my thoughts on second chances after having read the Sunday Scribblings prompt.

Every minute, every second, every tick and every tock of the clock's movement is opportunity for second chance if you are conscious enough to recognize it. Every minute, every NOW is opportunity to straighten my back and try again. To do better. To make right. I'm not really one who looks back. What's done is done. I firmly believe in forward motion, but for the sake of telling the Universe what I'd like help with, some things I'd like a second chance at:

...not yelling at my son just because he yelled at me. Ugly. I need to go forward in peace remembering he's still so naive about life and handling relationships. This is an ongoing process for me.

...a relationship with my Mom regardless of our spiritual or religious beliefs. She was once my best friend and I want to feel that way again.

...to say a heartfelt goodbye to my sweet Memere who was dying of cancer. The sight of my once vibrant grandmother deteriorated to a bag of bones forced me into the hospital bathroom to cry rather than face her with strength and tell her what she meant to me. I kissed her quickly, told her I loved her and scooted from the room. She died a couple of days later. I still wish I hadn't reacted as I did. I wish I'd had the strength.

...mothering. I want to start with these two kids again. I'm older and wiser and so much more patient. I want them to feel my inner peace and grow up at a much slower pace with less "hurry up"s and more "take your time"s.

...living on the farm I love. I divorced and left a land and a lifestyle that fit me like a glove. But love isn't about lifestyle, I don't regret the divorce I just miss the land and my beautiful home.

...marraige. I want a second opportunity to love and be loved, to feel connected in every way, to be supportive and be supported. I want to go back to taking care of someone I care deeply for. I believe strongly in marraige and with all due respect to my former husband, I don't call our marraige a failure. It was wildly successful for many years. In my next marraige I will not allow myself to slip out of love through lazy care of feelings or fear of telling my partner what I need.

Well hmmm. This list seems incomplete somehow, but it is all I can muster for now. I will continue to only look forward and not hang onto coulda/shoulda/woulda. I don't see that that kind of thinking would be helpful. I'm glad to have made this list so that I can now put these things behind me and leave them.

On a lighter note:

Two weeks (plus or minus) to take off with Jes for the Wish Studio opening. I'm so excited. I will meet Melba, Leah and a host of others.

I've got some great collage pieces going on at my Kitchen Table Studio (potential great blog name, eh?) I will post art pix again soon.

Yee ha. I got my letter of acceptance from Heartwood. I'm soooooooo thrilled!

Double yee ha. Taxes got done. Yeah, long extension. I'm getting a refund. And you thought the college acceptance thrilled me?????

Pumpkins, tomatoes, poppies, alyssum, nasturtiums are thriving in my entry way. I can't wait to put them in the ground.

I've Finally Stopped Laughing At This...

2007-05-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I worked A LOT last week. Too much I suppose. I didn't realize how tired I was...

Got home from work at 10-ish, wash dishes, filter through the mail and sort through the various pieces of life items strewn about the house by nineteen year old. I layer on the jammies, wash the day off my face, scrub my pearly whites and hit the hay around 11:30.

All's well except that the nineteen year old isn't home and for some reason it has me uptight. The mother in me tosses and turns and waits to hear from him.

At two thirty he apparently turns into a pumpkin because that is when he knocked on the door to let me know of his arrival. Thirty minutes of lights on, lights off, pots and pans clanging in preparation of his midnight meal, flushing of toilet, making of his bed, and me with eyes rolling open and closed in frustration as I drift in and out of a fog of exhaustion. I assume I fell asleep around three, who knows.

BEEP....BEEP...beep....BEEP...the alarm goes off at 6:03. I roll out of bed and take the two steps I need in order to reach my right arm and hand to the snooze button of my alarm clock. CLICK!

I don't know exactly how but apparently I feel asleep right then and there standing up because what I remember is my forehead slamming against the bedroom wall and momentarily sliding down it while bent over my bedside stand. WHUMP....SLITHER....and I'm now awake and laughing.

I went back to bed with a dull ache in my forehead and a belly full of laughter bubbling up. I slept for forty five more minutes and went about my day.

Later, when retelling the story to a close friend and again to my daughter I cannot even get the words out without tears streaming down my face at how very ridiculous the whole site must have been. I'm one of those laugh so hard that I cry people. It's not a pretty thing mind you, but it happens.

I know that this story doesn't translate well in written form, you probably had to be there, but I still think it was hilarious how tired I could actually be in order to fall asleep standing up. And yes, nineteen year old slept through the whole thing.

Ruminate Hafiz

2007-05-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is what I woke up to, well, not exactly. I awoke to RUMINATIONS. The word just ran through my mind again and again. Of course my subconscious knows I go right to my writing when I awaken on my day off and I took this as a message. But there was one problem, I didn't honestly know the meaning of it, so out came Mr. Webster and there it was:

ru~min~ate: to chew one's cud, to think on, meditate

AH HAH! There it is. To think on and meditate, that was the message. See, I have been listening intently to a series of Abraham-Hicks CD's on a variety of topics. These messages resonate so deeply in me that my crown and my chest literally vibrate faster as I listen. The top of my head tingles to the point that I eventually have to scratch the area. The significance of the communications that Abraham offers in my life is immeasurable. As I integrate the lessons I feel my spirit self growing and it pleases me to no end, even if no one elses notices. My thinking is changing. My attitude is changing. Ultimately, my life is changing, and there is more...

Part two to this puzzle of the word ruminate is this. (By the way, ruminations is NOT a word, apparently I made it up!) Last night before sleeping I was reading The Call by Oriah Mountain Dreamer and in this chapter about sometimes "falling off the spiritual wagon" she was berating herself for not being a perfect Being, she was listening to some music and a reading of a poem by Hafiz, the fourteenth century philospher. This poem hit my heart like no other. It sent me flying in a new direction. Read it and weep (or not), but please read it.

You have
not danced so badly, my dear,
trying to hold hands with the Beautiful One.

You have waltzed with great style my sweet, crushed angel
to have even neared God’s heart at all.

Our Partner is notoriously hard to follow and
even his best musicians are not always easy to hear.

So what, if the music has stopped for awhile.
So what, if the price of admission to the Divine is
out of reach tonight.

So what my sweetheart, if you lack the ante to
gamble for real love.

The mind and the body are famous for holding the heart ransom,
but Hafiz knows the Beloved’s eternal habits.
Have patience,
for He will not be able to resist your longings
and charms for long.

You have not danced so badly, my dear,
trying to kiss the Magnificent
One.

You have actually waltzed with tremendous style,
my sweet, O my sweet,
crushed
angel.

The picture I did is in marker, colored pencil and chalk. I did it after yet another reading of this beautiful poem that allows me to falter. I feel release. I can forget to center myself, fall asleep before my prayers are complete, I can mistakenly curse when I know I shouldn't, He is smiling at me, watching my little girl dance steps and He says "It's okay kid, you're doing alright."

I believe for me the message of the day is to really think on, truly meditate on these lessons I am recieving. Go deep inside myself (which is something I am not good at)

I feel sooooo much better.

TAM'S HOMEWORK: find more Hafiz and check out Rumi

Pause

2007-05-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Learn to pause or nothing good can catch up to you.

Phew. Today I am ready to pause. It's my third day on the floor of the dining room waiting tables. I'm now behind on paperwork, housework and artwork. I glanced around my desk space and this saying on a handwritten sticky note that hangs over my desk caught my eye and made me remember...breathe. Slow down. Pause.

Catch you when I can, I have to find out today's lunch specials.

Heartwood Here I Come

2007-04-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

One hour, forty five minutes, two toll booths, one medium Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar, lunch at KFC.

Heartwood college of Art and I are going to get along just fine. I sat with Berri who is an administrator, Audrey who is the schools right arm, and Susan Wilder the drawing teacher. I brought my selection of works, laid them out in front of these ladies and let them see what I've done. To my astonishment they only saw the beauty in my pieces. Ms Wilder really loved my black ink tree on the watercolored sky. She recognized my love for layering and noticed a textile design and feel in my work. Berri was floored by the complete connectedness of the charcoal sketches of the naked human form. "You made all the right connections!" she said with much suprise. "So many people can't do that." she explained as she pointed to the shadows under the knees and the highlights on the wrist bones. Audrey smiled politely and seemed genuinely delighted with my pieces.

My nervousness disolved. I had expected criticisms and direction and instead received "All you really need is studio time to enhance your skills."

Yes! yes! YES!

I explained to these women my fear of being put into a box, of having to do it this way or that. I've finally busted out of my self imposed cage and I don't want to go back there. No worries!! Ms. Wilder explained the value of learning technique while understanding that you can do it in art school then drop it forever if you want but the skill will be in your back pocket in case of emergency. Phew.

We discussed the campus. Okay, so the campus is one big building. This suits me. I don't need to waste time wandering along big lawns under gargantuan trees looking for my class. And oh, to my delight I didn't see more than ten chairs in any of the classrooms. The college is small and very student oriented. The teacher-student ratio is small. Inside the building is a large communal kitchen/dining room where students and teachers often sit together for meals. I'm told there is some great conversation going on due to the age difference in students. It's 50/50 traditional students to older gen like me. The young ones don't know Evil Knievel or the civil rights movement and it makes for lively discussion.

Bottom line: synchronicity at it's best, the admin recently decided on a new program called BOOMER U. It's designed for non-traditional students who are traveling from afar, like me. Beginning this fall the school will run ten week intensive courses. This means longer sessions (read four hours instead of two) for ten weeks and then no traveling during the holidays or during Maine winter months. We use the off time to stay home and implement what we learned. September-October-November, DONE! Take a break, start again in March. Then during the three month break they will offer some one week long courses for full credit. I'd say by this time next year I'll have completed four courses and will be in the middle of three more.

Admin determined immediately that I am not in need of a degree, unless I really wanted one, and I don't. They said they felt with my age being a factor why bog down with the busy work and book time involved with a degree. Let's just get to the studio time as quickly as possible. What this means is that I'll acquire a certificate in the field of concentration that I choose, in my case-PAINTING. I'll be doing 5 core classes, 8 painting/drawing classes and 6 electives. This tickles my heart because I was near tears choosing between painting and jewelry design and now I'll do both of those and more, including Book Art! ( EEEEEEEEEEKKK!!)

I am full! So full.

I left with my head spinning and my chest vibrating so fast that I thought I'd sprout wings and fly off. This is what Abraham-Hicks means when they discuss our inner-being speaking to us. The inner being is our emotions, our warning signals. When you are attracting what you want in life you feel good, joyful, excited, anything less than wonderful feelings means you are attracting and putting attention to the wrong things. With this pounding heart and full feeling in my chest I knew I was making the right decision.

I am filled to the brim with glee!! I couldn't wait to get home and do a journal page of my naked breasts with my heat chakra glowing and growing within it. This is how I felt as I made the long drive home.

I've found a new path. Heartwood, here I come.

Catching Up & Giving Thanks

2007-04-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

I feel I' ve been away for along time. I'd gotten used to writing every day and now it's been five, wow. I did a quick post a few moments ago but wanted to do a bit more. I want to share the love today!

Melba was the lovely lady who suggested I start a blog. I found hers accidentally about a month ago and now here I am. Thank you for opening the door, Melba, because since this venture began I have met some truly terrific people. I am most grateful for the lessons in jewelry making, antiquing, swapping, e-mailing, mixed media collage, friendship, spirituality and SO MUCH MORE. I've interacted withome great Maine girls and feel on the verge of some really tight friendships.

...And in case anyone is intersted this is what I've been up to for five days.

I went to Rockland over night with Miss Muffet and my sister in law Cindy. We laughed our fool heads off, shopped till we dropped & drank lots of coffee. Great bonding.
Spent Saturday morning painting. Did my pre-creation ritual, lit a candle, said a prayer and sat down with my acrylics...was really pleased with my "Explosion of Pink" painting of roses.
Saturday night I hung out at LakeShore with my crew.
Breakfast buffet at the cafe was crazy busy and I was silly enough to be wearing my favorite pink sweater so I looked great but was sweating from every pore of my body. Not a pretty thing.
Monday the waitress called out sick and I ended up working the floor. Cook baked a gingerbread with streusel topping and after sampling some I sold all except two pieces of it. I was so proud of myself, he he. Beyond that I had some really neat synchronicities occur and I could feel the presence of Spirit around me, guiding me. It was good.
Monday night I almost finished prepping for my Wednesday meeting witht the art school people. I just have a little more to do.

*sigh* So that's it. That's what I've been doing. I've been thinking of my bloggy friends, your art, your deep thoughts and feelings and what an amazing community I've found. I am honored to be part of this. Merci.

This Too Shall Pass

2007-04-24T06:22:00.000-07:00

I am finished reading The New Earth by Eckartt Tolle. This is a book that can only be read in small chunks as there is much to chew on. It is also a book worth a second read in order to pick up the pieces that you may have missed the first time.

This too shall pass....a phrase we have often heard, but probably not often really delved into with great thought. Mr. Tolle suggests we use these words, this too shall pass, in order to recognize the fleetingness of every situation due to the transience of all forms, good and bad. We do this in order to lessen our attachment to things.

Be it a joyful situation or a truly upsetting moment, this too shall pass. We must recognize the NOW because that's all there is. If I can remember in this moment of pure joy to experience the moment and truly feel it for what it is and then remember to let it go then I hold no expectations of the future. If, when in deep pain, I can remember that this too shall pass, I can feel it, hopefully shake it, and then move on knowing everything is transient. There is only the moment we are in, nothing future, nothing past. Being in the NOW is key.

I wrote the above paragraphs almost four weeks ago. Today it is worth posting because it is where I need to be, it is where I need to bring my head and my heart. The details don't matter and I'm not one to really divulge a lot. It's enough to know I've been hurt and I am hurting. The fingers are pointing, the whispers can be heard for miles, the cluck-clucking of many tongues echo in my head and it weighs me down. Now to put the words into play: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Soon enough the locals will be chewing on someone else's life and spitting it up. Soon they will all be happy for me and saying "Oh my, she's done well for herself". Soon enough it will all go away...soon enough can't come soon enough sometimes. When did twenty four hours become like an eternity??? ...this too shall pass...this too shall pass...this too shall pass.

Open Letter to Sweetpea

2007-04-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Jes,

I made it to the co-op marketplace before you. I took all the good stuff. The proof is in the pudding!! I took the BEST textiles they had. I got six mustard and white checked fabric napkins all hand embroidered with daisies. I will lay them out the next time I have friends over for coffee. There is a table cover that matches. Woo hoo! Then I found two yards of white and red cotton duck from the forties. I'm going to make myself a full length art apron to wear while painting. Fab, huh Jes? Okay, then there are these great doily like things (I think they are antimacassars) I grabbed three of them for a dollar at the flea market in Union on my way home. And oh, I got a neat old book called Parables of Life that I may read and then use in my work.

Hey, I almost forgot to tell you about the little toy army soldiers for $1 each and the 6" round domed wall hanging of Jesus praying. Great finds, just great.

SO~ don't be upset. I left some stuff at the marketplace like the awesome yellow art deco bedroom set that they had to peel me off from. The nightstand was made to look like a flower, I nearly cried with joy. I also didn't pick up some terrific turquoise jewelry, some block letters for printing and a great no parking sign which I thought would look great hanging in the bathroom next to the toilet. Go get these items if you'd like, I 'll be glad one of us got them.

Thanks for letting me in on your little secret, the marketplace, I mean. Maybe next time we go together?????

** The above post is done in fun. Jes was kind enough to introduce me to a fab antique place here in Maine that I didn't know of...the Rockland Antiques Marketplace. I highly recommend it to everyone who loves a good hunt. Wear sneakers and a sweater the place is big and cold.

Joy In a Cup

2007-04-19T05:38:00.000-07:00

Spring has finally sprung for us Mainers. Today it seems the weather will break and we will witness the big golden ball of fire in the sky kindly known to others as the sun. To many Mainers it is this great mystery that occurs once a week amidst great suprise. Jaw agape I stare in awe at the warmth eminating from this big yellow sphere hovering over me. "What is it?" I ask to nobody in particular. I am elbowed in the rib from a passing stranger "It is called the sun."

"The what?!"

"The SUN!"

With that I am startled into reality. The central sun. Heard of it, don't see it much. It doesn't matter, I am happy in Maine no matter what the weather. I pull on my dollar store sunglasses and a SeaDogs ball cap, roll up my long sleeves, dig out my Bass flip flops and a smile. Spring has sprung in Maine.

Last night the joy of the weather report and the delivery of my organic peat pots from the mailman brought squeals of delight to this little girl. I searched out my trays and popsicle sticks and many seed packets and began my annual ritual of planting the seeds. Tears of joy practically pour from me.

I am a seed planting junkie. I typically love antique varieties of flowers and veggies but this year I chose the basics. I am living in a new location where I have no idea what kind of soil I have and beyond that, I'm renting. I can't go dig up the landlords lawn. I will try my hand at container gardening, so I kept it basic. Poppies, pansies, marigolds, balcony tomatoes, Wee-Be-Little pumpkins, peppers, sunflowers (always) , brandywines, and blue lake green beans.. This will be different. No more lemon cucumbers and purple carrots, no fancy stuff this year.

I haven't started my herbs yet, but I will. I have a lot of plotting to do, more planning, more preparation. All of this and the growing season is so short. But ahhhh my heart beats faster just smelling the bag of soil I used. I imagine the seeds pushing up through the darkness reaching to the...reaching for the ... striving to get to see the..(big yellow warm thing in the sky, can't remember it's name)..*sigh*

Young At Heart

2007-04-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

Here I am in all my knock-kneed glory. I'm giving you a glimpse of the real me. At 39 1/2 this is the essence of who I am, a 4 1/2 year old blonde haired, blue eyed girl filled with nervous excitement.

Too many people have asked me when I would "just grow up" . You see, to them my laugh out loud wherever I am, challenging my field hockey team to a sprint/race, doodle on the accountants balance sheet, do a cartwheel on my way to the neighbors way of life is startling. "You shouldn't be doing those things at your age", and "Adults don't do that," follow me everywhere.

But what am I to do? I have this deep craving to stay and be young. When I am thinking deeply on this subject this is how I remember me as a child, this picture from my first ever day of Kindergarten.

I was young. Too young for Kindergarten, but my parents were busy and having one more of the three kids under age six out of the house was probably easier, so off I went. The day before school began Memere gifted me with a blue felt school bag with a giraffe on it. Inside held the perfect gift, a fresh, new box of Crayola crayons. How I loved the bag and the crayons, I can still smell both of them. And there I stood on the cement step waiting for the big yellow bus to take me the half mile down the street to the beginning of my school years. I was nervous and excited.

It didn't take long for the teachers to recognize that I was too young for school. I cried daily. I fussed and worried daily. But again, I was young.

It seems I've always been a little too young for whatever my age. Some call it immaturity, some call it innocence, at different times I've been labeled naive, now that I am gaining in age it's young at heart.

Young in spirit with a grown up physical body suits me. I love to wear pig tails, I am comfy in my overalls, and barefoot is always best. Digging my hands in summertime dirt makes me smile, and being the first to jump into the middle of the puddle in the driveway is great fun. Getting on my hands and knees and wrapping my arms around my over-sized pot bellied pig for a big piggy hug warms my heart. You know, I still love to recite Nursery Rhymes and quote Dr. Seuss, Mickey Mouse is my favorite cartoon and why not?

Who says you have to grow up?? I don't want to. I will continue to keep the little girl alive in me always. It is to the worlds benefit that some people keep a child-like enthusiasm about them. I'll be me, you be you and we'll all be fine.

In the summer I drive a 1973 convertible Super Beetle and blast Billy Joel and Elton John while wearing a pink crocheted bowler and a smile. My dear sweet ex-hubby shakes his head and says "Tam, you're a little crazy." And maybe I am.

Getting to Know You...Create a Connection

2007-04-12T07:52:00.001-07:00

These kinds of things are great fun so I thought I'd play again.

1. question #255 - If you had to change your first name, what would you choose as your new name? This has long been a quandry for me and how interesting that when I read Tammy Mimms answers she feels the same way about her name. It's not a great name but nothing else fits. I was named for the song "Tammy's In Love", I think Debbie Reynolds sang it. I always say I dare you to find someone born in the mid sixties who wasn't blonde, blue-eyed and named Tammy. Ugh. I really prefer people to call me Tam. When I started telling people that was my preference they actually made fun of me, go figure. So I stopped requesting it for awhile. Now that I've grown into myself I am back at being just Tam and find it remarkably odd when someone very close to me uses Tammy. Its like being pricked with needles.

I always liked Liz. Poppy sounds perky and fun, nice idea Tori. Boy names are good: Jack, Nick, Ron. If I ever figure this one out I'll let you know.

I know someone who named her daughter Sunsearay because that was where the child was concieved, under the SUN, at the SEA, with the RAYs beating on them.

2. question #158 - What is your favorite saying, quote, or expression? I tend to say "Onward & Upward" quite a lot when I am done battling with something. I have quotes & expressions all over the place and would hate to pick just one. A close friend of mine says "Proceed With Vigor" and I like that, but again I collect sayings and don't want to limit this answer. I will say that of late I really find Rumi's words the most thougth provoking.

3. question #49 - If you could buy any rare collection in the world, which would you choose? Why? I would either choose Egyptian artifacts or works by DaVinci.

4. question #1 - If you could fly in a hot-air balloon over any city in the world, what city would you choose? Why that city? Have you visited there before?
First let's just say I will not be flying anywhere in a balloon. BUT, this is hypothetical so I think I'd say I'd go to the Mediterranian area. Not sure why, I've never been there but the idea of seeing their coastal area intrigues me. Okay, not a city, but an area, right?

5. question #221 - What is an item you own that has a minimal monetary value but has such sentimental value that you would not sell it for $5,000? Typical mother, If I lost my kids handmade clay vessels from elementary school I would break down. They are hideously ugly and i love them so much. I have four of them, lopsided, thick in all the wrong areas, too thin in other areas, grotesque colors all melded together for beautiful pieces that I have carefully placed within daily eyeshot. And oh, a beatiful aphghan my great grandmother crocheted before I was even born.

The Cat's Serenade

2007-04-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

I can't remembe where I read recently that it's okay to make bad art. Here is an example. ;} I was feeling frustrated with collage because it didn't have enough of me in it. I really love to draw and I have learned to love my loose doodles so I thought I'd try incorporating some doodles into a piece & here is the result.

The prose is from a huge old book of Nursery rhymes that I found while renovating a building. It dates back to the forties. There are hundreds of nursery rhymes in that foolish book. I picked one, cut it out, found my inspiration and began. I drew the tree onto some more music paper using a sharpie. The windy swirlies are chalk and then they are glittered. I chalked the background of the prose, drew in the moon & stars, doodled a cat playing banjo, a little gel medium and VOILA. Art?! I don't love this piece but the more it lays around the house the more I think it isn't as bad as I originally thought. I will keep trying this thing with the rhymes for awhile to see where it goes.

My favorite nursery rhyme in the whole world is Owll & the Pussycat. Some day I will do a mural of that one!

Roast Beast & Number 7

2007-04-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

A few commented on the numbers showing up in their lives so I thought I'd offer some more info. The number seven was mentioned so here it is ladies:

7: You're on the right path, keep up the good work.
17: You have good reason to be optimistic about your plans and path, this number is also representative of the holy trinity and the pyramids.

Numbers are powerful! ...the language of the angels. The more you pay attention to them, the more they'll appear. My ones and elevens and one-elevens keep popping up, more today, some yesterday. Never ending. I am manifesting some big stuff, ones confirm it.

I'm keeping my numbers book by the computer in case any of you need to know... ;)

...And the roast beast. YUM. I can't say this word without thinking of the Dr. Seuss story How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I liked the original cartoon, but I LOVE the Jim Carey version. I smile when the story ends with everyone gathered together eating the roast beast. This morning before I left for work I laid a beauty of a cut of meat into a casserole, smothered it with seasonings, water, & mushroom soup, covered it and left. I returned to a warm, mouthwatering, melt in your mouth din-din that I can't wait to serve.

A homemade dinner made with love and good intentions warms the heart as well as filling the stomach. I enjoy cooking and do best with comfort foods. (Me and the fancy-schmancy don't get along.) My dear mom-in-law shares with me her French-Canadian recipes and I do my best to perfect them as she does. Cooking is an art, I've always believed that. My mom-in-law is Renoir reincarnated; I just KNOW IT! I am a fledgling DaVinci on my way to greatness.

...Tis in ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

Please pass the roast beast.

If Only I Had a Camera!

2007-04-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

Straight out of my wallet...

Meet some of the players in the dream I call my life. The beauty on the left commonly known as Miss Muffet is 17 1/2 years old. She is creative & independent & funny as all get out. Due to the fact that she is extremely accident prone she is often seen in a cast or surgical wraps. Last year at prom time her wrist had been operated on for what will be a life long injury. She looks remarkably like me without crows feet.

The handsome fella on the right is Danimal. At least that's what his friends call him. He is 19 years young and full of it (you fill in what IT means to you). He is linear, not so independent & funny as all get out. Dan is currently searching for his place in life and realizing it is a rough road to independence. We celebrate the small steps together, last night it was that he stayed home. He looks remarkably like me without crows feet.

These two I love. I love, I love, I love them. They are nice and they are naughty. They are mean and they are sweet. Dirty socks, lost permission slips, "borrowing" my vehicle and partying too much. They are painfully perfect. We've been to hell & back and I'd go again if they needed me to. These two I love.

*scuse me while I go look at baby pictures*

...art to share later in the week, just thought it was time to introduce the players. More players to come in future weeks.

Frog Dreams

2007-04-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

Not the best scan ever, even after playing with the contrast. Oh well! This sketch was done in February. I dreamed I was looking at this frog "hanging" in the water looking back at me. It was so clear and vivid in the morning when I woke. It stayed with me for a few days and I eventually sketched him out.

I dream A LOT! I know there are messages to be had. Sometimes I get it right away, other times I have to look it up in my dream encyclopedia. Always, always, it resonates. I enjoy dream interpretation. This frog was a good omen, or I should say an omen of good things coming my way. Yee ha. Who couldn't use a bit more of that?

Beyond the dreams the numbers are speaking to me, too. One, eleven, and one elven have been constantly showing themselves to me either in my car clock, waking me at the middle of the night, on the computer screen, house location numbers, etc. When I looked it up it seems it's all about watching my thoughts. I am creating my life, keep my thoughts clean, clear and good. Then, last week, the threes started. Now it's three, thirty three and three-three-three everywhere I turn. This morning, 3:00 am on the nose I woke up with a scream. Literally-screaming. Jumped me out of my bed to find Reggie, the puggle, poking his nose in my armpit.

When I inquired with my little book about threes, sure enough, Master teachers surround me, it's a good time to be asking questions. This information is according to the Doreen Virtue numbers book I keep on hand. Beautiful info. What numbers show up for you? And what do they mean?

More Altered Discs

2007-03-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Velvet Step...This lovely leg is from a 1950's advertisement for shoes. I just fell in love with it. To me it says "Cinderelly is ready for the ball, check these feet!". More dancing, more chalk and more music sheets.

My Darling...an altered disk using 1929 effy stuff. These are the same dancers from the first disk I did. They were part of that radiola ad. I still have one more couple like this that Iwill use on a bigger piece...eventually.

These are the three finished altered CD's. I will be mounting them in one frame. I hope this is it for the dance theme for the time being. This stuff is outside of my element and truthfully I am new to collage so I'm quite nervous about these results. I feel confident they'll look good framed.

Coffee Talk, Random Thoughts & Eckart Tolle

2007-03-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

Another Friday is here, I've not much to say except random thoughts.

I think the timing of my blogging needs to change. Each morning when I wake I go to the kitchen for delicious hot coffee and sit with my marker(s) and paper and I empty the junque. I now call it "coffee talk". While waking up I breathe in the quiet of the morning, contemplate today and consider tomorrow. I write until my wrist hurts and sometimes my heart. I am alive with ideas to share with the blogging community & I am brimming with information and feelings and wanting and needing to teach. I have sketches to share, drawings to post, color to discuss.
"I will tell them X Y and Z, then the next day I'll share A B C..."

And always, following my rituals, prayer, showering, putting the dog out (and back in), loving up the lump under the bedroom covers known as a teenage boy, pulling a frozen slab of something for dinner later...always by the time I get to the computer I am lost in the day and never get to the heart of the matter. I sit here frozen.

So here's hoping that I find some balance between Coffee Talk writings and typing it on the computer. Today I asked for guidance in this area so that I can share more. I want to be a beacon of light, not easy when you're battling the doldrums, or slow cash flow, or lack of interest. Whatever your battle, we must take action against it and be bold. I suppose that's what I was really asking for, more strength to be bold so that I can experience the grace and magic of my actions.

Quandry #1: Is this really my artist forum or my spiritual forum and what is its purpose. Can it be both? Melba led me to Kiandra who's post really hit my heart and now I have more thinking to do.

Quandry #2: The New Earth by Eckart Tolle really has me thinking. I read it each night before prayers and it talks about EGO a lot. More specifically, it discusses the elimination of it in order to be pure BEING or allowing the BEING to be us. It talks about disassociating ourselves from roles. This really hit home. Particularly he talks about parenting and how often we parent for too long or too hard. If we parent our kids and edge towards "I know more than you or I have more life experience than you therefore you should, yadda yadda..." then we are having a power trip, an ego check is required. Role playing really keeps us stuck in ego and this is something I really want to work on. I have done this role playing with my kids, sad and difficult to say, but true. This isn't to say I did it intentionally, I thought that's what we were supposed to do as parents, but having read this I know now that with my kids as older teens/young adults I need to let go and have a true relationship that is more equal with less of my own opinion interjected. *sigh* so much to think about.

Action has magic, grace & power

2007-03-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

~Whatever you think you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace & power in it.

-goethe

Another Goethe. This one sits in front of me on my desk reminding me daily to take action. This goes along with the Boldness piece. To take action we must be bold. I'll just keep reminding myself of these things as the Universe shows me the steps.

For those of you who want daily notes from the Universe to remind you that your thoughts are leading you to your own reality do this: www.tut.com This is hands down the most enjoyable part of my day. Sign up for the dialy NOTES FROM THE UNIVERSE done specifically for your dreams and watch what you get. I end up reduced to tears, peeing my pants with laughter and always, ALWAYS happier for the realization that I'm not alone. Spirit is with me.

Okay, yesterday I spent six glorious hours cranking out some creativity. I did some altered CD's that I want to post but my tempermental scanner won't let me. I'll try it on another day but there is something I must share. I spent about three hours working on an I WANT journal. Inside the cover of a lovely little 12 page album I wrote I, my name, WANT...and then I cut out magazine pictures of emotional, spiritual, physical things that I want to attain in my life. It was a blast! I felt such joy knowing I would have all of these things and MORE! This all goes along with The Secret and its talk of seeing and feeling all that you want in the future.

I plan to sit with my album daily to look through it and feel each of the items as though I already have them. I tell you I was tickled pink working on this.

Can't you see me driving my pink wood paneled PT Cruiser to the justbe...Connected event in Cape Cod. WOO HOOOO, I am SO there!

Being Bold

2007-03-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Be bold & mighty forces will come to your aid.
~Goethe

This is what I'm trying to do. Being bold doesn't come easily for me. I'm told by people who barely know me that I'm independent and strong. I hold myself well. Little do they know that inside I'm often a trembling jellyfish. I am bold in my art, I am bold in my appearance, I am probably even bold in my opinion. Balancing boldness with a gentle spirit is difficult. Being bold and feeling bold are two different things I want to feel the strength I need to carry out my dreams. If I am loved and suported by the Universe, and I am, then I must learn to allow my faith to carry me further.

*wish me luck*

Tale of a Traveler

2007-03-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

I decided I deserved a morning off and took myself down to Kennebunk on Saturday to see if I could find Heartwood. Since there was time to kill I took the long way, the REALLY long way. First, I stopped in Freeport at the cool bead store and got some little goodies and then mushed on through a bunch of lovely cities and towns before stopping in my future art school's driveway. Two hours one way, phew (okay, really almost three hours because I dawdled a lot)! There she is, a one story building: Heartwood College of Art. It's an intimate little school, small classes, a 50/50 population of high school graduates to adult learners. Guess which category I fit in, and HEY, be nice. So now, I've seen it, talked with the staff, next is the monetary exchange and once that's final there is no looking back. REPEAT AFTER ME, one word: panic!

On another note I found some terrific antiques markets in the nearby town of Arundel so I will be doing some treasure hunting on my time off between classes this fall. There was a fairly good sized outdoor flea market, too. I located a nice EconoLodge so I can stay overnight once a week. That ought to be tons of fun, huh? Goodness gracious, the things we do for the love of art.

Beyond that I sat at my makeshift studio table (some people would call it their dining room table, but I need to say studio in my head to make me happy) and worked on some more altered CD's. The whole DANCE theme is going on and I'm going to work it until it's out of me. I will post the results when they're complete.

Bella visited yesterday. What a love. We got caught up on the boys, the men, the mutual friends, and the current energy of Spirit. There is so much swirling around us now and there's important work to do. Pray for strength and wisdom.

Getting to Know You...Create a Connection

2007-03-23T06:07:00.001-07:00

I took this from the Create a Connection Site yesterday. In case you're interested.

List 3 random facts about you, that we will be entertained by: I own a restaurant and motel in Central Maine, I totally love competitive sports and play women's fast pitch softball and field hockey, I own a cutie-pa-tootie black pot-bellied pig named Abby Rose, she is 3 years old!
List 2 things about you, that are important for us to know: 1) I recently divorced my husband of 20 years. Ammicable enough, but nonetheless sad and has completely sent me into a tailspin (more info at a later date) 2) My spiritual quest is important enough to me that it has affected my entire life including family relationships, friends, my art. Small Maine towns aren't receptive to alternative ways of thinking.
Do you like board games? Yes, someWhat are some favorites? Scrabble, because I love words. Monopoly because it is my daughters favorite. Yahtzee, easy to play. Pictionary!! But throw me a basketball and I'd love to shoot hoops with you.
What are your non-artistic hobbies? Gardening,oooh how I love my gardens. Sports because I have an urge to run all the time.
Do you collect anything? Do headaches count? I have two recent collections started: Couples dancing and spiritually moving items (photos, crosses, altar statuary)
What types of art do you enjoy creating the most? I love, love, love to sketch and draw but collage is gaining popularity with me. Sewing is great fun, too. And oh, scrapbooking.
Do you have a type of art that you've always wanted to try, but never done? What is it? I am dying to try jewelry making. I have sketches all done, ready to be made.
Do you have any art "how to" sites that you would recommend to us? What are they? No, I don't, but if you have some for me....

Oooooh, that was fun! I enjoy sharing, I do. My only worry about this whole blogging thing is how this does or possibly DOES NOT interfere with eliminating ego. If the ultimate goal is be rid of our egos so that we can see things clearly and be completely conscious, does all this talk about ME and I get in the way. This is a new quandry for me.

If You Play Your Cards Right

2007-03-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on my day off I decided to try my hand at altered CD's. Now this was fun!! I tore through an 1929 The American Home magazine and found this great advertisement for an RCA Radiola 60. The ad had these terrific art deco hand drawn dancers that I clipped. A little sheet music, a great background, some chalk, woven cording, some stamping and VOILA! I titled it "If You Play Your Cards Right". I'm kind of wondering how people display their altered CD's. Does anyone have any good ideas?

BRRRR! Did I mention it's 30 degrees here in central maine? We're in this terrific melt then refreeze pattern. Joe Kupo says it we'll have a 50 degree heat wave by weekend. Yee ha!

Pink Beats Blue

2007-03-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

Pink is my favorite color. But blue and gray are what I'm battling right now.

The days sitting behind my desk are long, too long. I ache to set up a permanent studio once again. I long for Wednesdays, my scheduled day off, so I can play all day.

Reading everyone else's blog is so much fun, and so inspiring. It makes me want to try my hand at new things: jewelry making, mosaics, oil painting, knitting. All of that and I am dying to get out my sewing machine and get some of the new Amy Butler fabrics and patterns before spring is over.

I'd like to tip this desk over and sprint home. Yes, I'll be winded and have extreme shin splints, but at least I'll be home where the creative forces in me can take over.

Why Art? Why Now?

2007-03-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a part-time art student. As part of my college application process I have to write an essay on my art. I thought I'd share.

Art is my chosen form of expression. It is my joy, frustration, sadness, anger and curiosity. Without pen and paper I am lost. My hands and fingers fumble to find comfort without pen in place. I doodle while on the telephone. I sketch still lifes as I have intimate conversations with a friend. Business meetings require a fresh pad of paper and sharp pencil so I can sketch ideas as I take notes.

Journaling is no longer about words on paper in a private padlocked book. It's now about color that represents my mood. It's clippings of inspiring photos and sketches of my day. Art journaling is comfortable and it suits me.

For me art is everywhere. Finely crafted furniture, funky jewelry, intricately woven rugs and smartly knitted crafts are all art forms. Each of these mediums, among others, intrigue me in one way or another, but none so much as paper arts. Pen, pencil, ink, chalk laid to paper in many and various forms is pure art candy. So tasty and delightful that I squeak.

As a young child I thought artists were poor starving men on the streets of Paris. Struggle was the assumption. This frustrated me to the point of giving up. Rather than pursue a life fraught with aggravation and since it was assumed "you can't make a living doing art" I passed on art school. Thought I'm still young in my heart, at almost forty, my now adult mind has learned that I can't live without being creative every day. It has finally recognized that artists can indeed make a living making art and thirdly, my heart and mind agree that art school is something I must try.

The styles of the Renaissance masters fascinate me and at one time I thought that that was the only way art could be. This probably explains my own struggles with style. Getting the details and proportions right have consumed me and created an unfair judgement against my own attempts.

My personal style is, as most artists, evolving. In the past I have used the word UPTIGHT to describe my style because I have worked on small planes and usually with great detail. I am working at getting out of my own way to work in new styles; I have discovered a looser way is relaxing and fun to do. It removes the pressure. It's refreshing.

I have worked in a variety of mediums including: pen and ink, oils, acrylics, pencil, chalk, collage and assemblage. I do not concern myself with my art being salable. I will create pieces that feed my own soul. If a piece stirs something in someone else then I welcome it and hold my head high.

There it is, my application essay. Let's hope they'll accept me as a student. Fingers and toes crossed??

Warning To New Readers: License to Preach

2007-03-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

Warning to new readers: My blog may be a tad wordy until I get some of this background information out of my system. I just thought you may want to know a little history of me before I get more conversational. Okay? Okay!!

I finished a canvas during the big snowstorm we had on Saturday. It started out seemingly innocent enough, some torn pages from the Methodist Discipline pasted on a copper colored background. As I'm pasting away I notice the words "License to Preach" printed on one of the pages. Suddenly my mind starts going off on religion and doctrine and dogma. The piece starts coming alive and before I know it I have torn sheet music titled "The Kingdom" into a church with roof lines that say "love and devotion" and "message of peace". Lo and behold these two haughty looking men are cut and pasted on the roof shouting their message, using their license to preach. As I do all of this I am getting more and more angry. Who are they to tell me what to believe and how to believe? Who the heck issues a License to Preach?

The questions seared through me and as I dug myself in the anger I discover myself looking for a door to put on the front of the church. I locate a lovely maroon colored arched door and find myself creating a sign for the outside of the door: " Enter at Your Own Risk". Now the anger is gone and it is replaced with guilt. New questions arise: Will I be judged for putting how I feel on this canvas? Does it matter if I am judged? Will patrons understand what I meant when I wrote those words? I skittishly ditch the sign for the door and handwrite along the side of the door the same words. Less obtrustive, but still there.

Lost in thought I finish the church with a gray crumbling and cracked foundation wondering if anyone else will notice the implication in what I've done.

I signed the piece and put it aside while a new journal was born. I had to write my thoughts and feelings about this art. It is the first time in probably years that I have had that much emotional energy go into a product. I never expected such internal rage. I wrote four pages in longhand.

My history with religion is probably the same as most people who are my age and from the northern New England area. We were raised to believe X, Y, Z. We were told X, Y, Z was it. Period. No questions asked. When I busted out of that belief system the world as I knew it changed. Marraige changed, family changed, care of Mother Earth changed. I blossomed and grew (& continue to). It has cost me important relationships, this argument with Church XYZ and all it encompasses. I refuse to be spoken down to by Church XYZ and its components.

As I said to my daughter last week, I'm just going to continue being me. Different. Earthy. Growing. Questioning. Arty. Uptight. Funny (sometimes). Generous. Spiritual.

Bon Jour and Hello!

2007-03-16T05:40:00.000-07:00

This is where I'll post my thoughts. Though art and spiritual growth consume me I will allow whatever happens to happen. I hope to have no limitations. I hope to speak authentically. I hope to post a ton of great pieces of what can loosely be called art. I hope to be me and I hope to make some great new friends. I really, really want to make you smile & laugh and think twice.

This is the new tammigirl busting out of her self-imposed shell, ready and willing to take a new direction. Wish me luck, okay?