Monday, July 23, 2007

A Little Spark of Madness

We are given only a little spark of madness. We musn't lose it.
Robin Williams




Words to live by, don't you think? If only people understood me more. Does anyone else out there struggle with the fact that you stand in your own power? That your spark of madness, your ache to be who you know you are inside of yourself, is too much for the rest of the world to take...


I always thought that saying less was saying more. You probably don't think so after my last really long post, but for me, the excitement of last weekend overtook me and I wanted, nay, NEEDED to share the love. Today I learned that by not sharing personal information regarding a painful experience I had that people who were closest to me have made judgements against me. I thought by sparing people of the gory details, my side of the story, they would appreciate my desire to keep my personal business personal. Not so. It's disheartening but doesn't tear me apart.


I am loving people from a distance, in my heart, without speaking I am asking them for forgiveness. I am recognizing that anything I experience, no matter how ugly, is mine to own. Madness? Maybe. I believe in the goodness of humans. We falter. We all just do.


I am a renegade dreamer, full of power. Artist extrodinairre. Ex-wife. Mother. Friend. Teacher. Blogger.

**The picture is from my restaurant in the 1940's or 1950's. Feel free to print and use it in your art. I am fortunate to have many people drop off old pictures of this place. The three ladies photographed were some orginal waitstaff members.

8 comments:

Melba said...

You know I understand.

Everyday I come across people who don't understand or who are negative. At first I always long for that same vibration, but I am learning to chose a better thought each time, to keep my vibration and not match theirs.

I haven't often been around many adults who I feel at ease with, but I can't wait to be!

XO,
Melba

Tori said...

One of the biggest things I struggle with is releasing my fear of what I can be.
Great post Tammy!
Thinking of you.

wish studio said...

i so relate to this quote. be the spark and keep on dreaming :) xo, mindy

Denise said...

This was a really moving post. I think we, especially women, feel this way quite often.

Jen said...

Hi Tam..
I've felt this way...yes..sometimes too little shared is not enough...
sometimes too much shared, is well, too much

It's not easy to have to think of what others would be bothered by or what they would expect...it would be so nice to be able to just be me...

I don't mean not to consider others feelings...I just mean that in life, when we have experiences it would be nice to be able to share it if it comes to us to do...
and it would be nice for others to not take it personally if we were trying to "think of them"...to take it for what it is, and to communicate hopes for future..and to just move on...without more

ah, to be trusted when we explain our intentions..or when we say the opposite...like, no that was not my intention...I think when this is possible we can be understood..we'll feel it...

well, I think people can judge very easily and not always knowing they are...and I have experienced a twist on it...well, I think that I have...that after sharing personal information/feelings...that I was judged in a way...

It is just that people are the directors and leading roles in their lives and others are in supporting roles so to speak...and so sometimes when life is happening to another...people can't see it as the other's production..well, I attempt a metaphor...

I think it is effort until it becomes routine..to think from a place of understanding and empathizing with another...beyond caring.

Well, it's been awhile since I commented here, so I hope I'm aloud to make it a long one
;-)

Let's never lose the spark....be free to follow our heart...it can be broken either way.:OP..so we should be the best us we can be...and these days I think communication is the key and then people will either understand or not..but I know I still can work on better communication..and I know I am not alone...

hey, I've started to paint...finally...you starting was part of my inspiration...I still go back to the four agreements ....thanks for it all

Brambleberry said...

What a thoughtful post! Your transparency is really refreshing, and so incredibly inspiring.

Susan Tuttle said...

Wonderful post!

Did you ever make it to the Blue Moose Emporium?

Susan
xo

daisies said...

you are so beautiful and inspirational and wonderful :) xox