Here I am in all my knock-kneed glory. I'm giving you a glimpse of the real me. At 39 1/2 this is the essence of who I am, a 4 1/2 year old blonde haired, blue eyed girl filled with nervous excitement.
Too many people have asked me when I would "just grow up" . You see, to them my laugh out loud wherever I am, challenging my field hockey team to a sprint/race, doodle on the accountants balance sheet, do a cartwheel on my way to the neighbors way of life is startling. "You shouldn't be doing those things at your age", and "Adults don't do that," follow me everywhere.
But what am I to do? I have this deep craving to stay and be young. When I am thinking deeply on this subject this is how I remember me as a child, this picture from my first ever day of Kindergarten.
I was young. Too young for Kindergarten, but my parents were busy and having one more of the three kids under age six out of the house was probably easier, so off I went. The day before school began Memere gifted me with a blue felt school bag with a giraffe on it. Inside held the perfect gift, a fresh, new box of Crayola crayons. How I loved the bag and the crayons, I can still smell both of them. And there I stood on the cement step waiting for the big yellow bus to take me the half mile down the street to the beginning of my school years. I was nervous and excited.
It didn't take long for the teachers to recognize that I was too young for school. I cried daily. I fussed and worried daily. But again, I was young.
It seems I've always been a little too young for whatever my age. Some call it immaturity, some call it innocence, at different times I've been labeled naive, now that I am gaining in age it's young at heart.
Young in spirit with a grown up physical body suits me. I love to wear pig tails, I am comfy in my overalls, and barefoot is always best. Digging my hands in summertime dirt makes me smile, and being the first to jump into the middle of the puddle in the driveway is great fun. Getting on my hands and knees and wrapping my arms around my over-sized pot bellied pig for a big piggy hug warms my heart. You know, I still love to recite Nursery Rhymes and quote Dr. Seuss, Mickey Mouse is my favorite cartoon and why not?
Who says you have to grow up?? I don't want to. I will continue to keep the little girl alive in me always. It is to the worlds benefit that some people keep a child-like enthusiasm about them. I'll be me, you be you and we'll all be fine.
In the summer I drive a 1973 convertible Super Beetle and blast Billy Joel and Elton John while wearing a pink crocheted bowler and a smile. My dear sweet ex-hubby shakes his head and says "Tam, you're a little crazy." And maybe I am.