More Altered Discs

Velvet Step...This lovely leg is from a 1950's advertisement for shoes. I just fell in love with it. To me it says "Cinderelly is ready for the ball, check these feet!". More dancing, more chalk and more music sheets.

My Darling...an altered disk using 1929 effy stuff. These are the same dancers from the first disk I did. They were part of that radiola ad. I still have one more couple like this that Iwill use on a bigger piece...eventually.

These are the three finished altered CD's. I will be mounting them in one frame. I hope this is it for the dance theme for the time being. This stuff is outside of my element and truthfully I am new to collage so I'm quite nervous about these results. I feel confident they'll look good framed.

Coffee Talk, Random Thoughts & Eckart Tolle

Another Friday is here, I've not much to say except random thoughts.

I think the timing of my blogging needs to change. Each morning when I wake I go to the kitchen for delicious hot coffee and sit with my marker(s) and paper and I empty the junque. I now call it "coffee talk". While waking up I breathe in the quiet of the morning, contemplate today and consider tomorrow. I write until my wrist hurts and sometimes my heart. I am alive with ideas to share with the blogging community & I am brimming with information and feelings and wanting and needing to teach. I have sketches to share, drawings to post, color to discuss.
"I will tell them X Y and Z, then the next day I'll share A B C..."

And always, following my rituals, prayer, showering, putting the dog out (and back in), loving up the lump under the bedroom covers known as a teenage boy, pulling a frozen slab of something for dinner later...always by the time I get to the computer I am lost in the day and never get to the heart of the matter. I sit here frozen.

So here's hoping that I find some balance between Coffee Talk writings and typing it on the computer. Today I asked for guidance in this area so that I can share more. I want to be a beacon of light, not easy when you're battling the doldrums, or slow cash flow, or lack of interest. Whatever your battle, we must take action against it and be bold. I suppose that's what I was really asking for, more strength to be bold so that I can experience the grace and magic of my actions.

Quandry #1: Is this really my artist forum or my spiritual forum and what is its purpose. Can it be both? Melba led me to Kiandra who's post really hit my heart and now I have more thinking to do.

Quandry #2: The New Earth by Eckart Tolle really has me thinking. I read it each night before prayers and it talks about EGO a lot. More specifically, it discusses the elimination of it in order to be pure BEING or allowing the BEING to be us. It talks about disassociating ourselves from roles. This really hit home. Particularly he talks about parenting and how often we parent for too long or too hard. If we parent our kids and edge towards "I know more than you or I have more life experience than you therefore you should, yadda yadda..." then we are having a power trip, an ego check is required. Role playing really keeps us stuck in ego and this is something I really want to work on. I have done this role playing with my kids, sad and difficult to say, but true. This isn't to say I did it intentionally, I thought that's what we were supposed to do as parents, but having read this I know now that with my kids as older teens/young adults I need to let go and have a true relationship that is more equal with less of my own opinion interjected. *sigh* so much to think about.

Action has magic, grace & power

~Whatever you think you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace & power in it.

-goethe

Another Goethe. This one sits in front of me on my desk reminding me daily to take action. This goes along with the Boldness piece. To take action we must be bold. I'll just keep reminding myself of these things as the Universe shows me the steps.

For those of you who want daily notes from the Universe to remind you that your thoughts are leading you to your own reality do this: www.tut.com This is hands down the most enjoyable part of my day. Sign up for the dialy NOTES FROM THE UNIVERSE done specifically for your dreams and watch what you get. I end up reduced to tears, peeing my pants with laughter and always, ALWAYS happier for the realization that I'm not alone. Spirit is with me.

Okay, yesterday I spent six glorious hours cranking out some creativity. I did some altered CD's that I want to post but my tempermental scanner won't let me. I'll try it on another day but there is something I must share. I spent about three hours working on an I WANT journal. Inside the cover of a lovely little 12 page album I wrote I, my name, WANT...and then I cut out magazine pictures of emotional, spiritual, physical things that I want to attain in my life. It was a blast! I felt such joy knowing I would have all of these things and MORE! This all goes along with The Secret and its talk of seeing and feeling all that you want in the future.

I plan to sit with my album daily to look through it and feel each of the items as though I already have them. I tell you I was tickled pink working on this.

Can't you see me driving my pink wood paneled PT Cruiser to the justbe...Connected event in Cape Cod. WOO HOOOO, I am SO there!

Being Bold

Be bold & mighty forces will come to your aid.
~Goethe

This is what I'm trying to do. Being bold doesn't come easily for me. I'm told by people who barely know me that I'm independent and strong. I hold myself well. Little do they know that inside I'm often a trembling jellyfish. I am bold in my art, I am bold in my appearance, I am probably even bold in my opinion. Balancing boldness with a gentle spirit is difficult. Being bold and feeling bold are two different things I want to feel the strength I need to carry out my dreams. If I am loved and suported by the Universe, and I am, then I must learn to allow my faith to carry me further.

*wish me luck*

Tale of a Traveler

I decided I deserved a morning off and took myself down to Kennebunk on Saturday to see if I could find Heartwood. Since there was time to kill I took the long way, the REALLY long way. First, I stopped in Freeport at the cool bead store and got some little goodies and then mushed on through a bunch of lovely cities and towns before stopping in my future art school's driveway. Two hours one way, phew (okay, really almost three hours because I dawdled a lot)! There she is, a one story building: Heartwood College of Art. It's an intimate little school, small classes, a 50/50 population of high school graduates to adult learners. Guess which category I fit in, and HEY, be nice. So now, I've seen it, talked with the staff, next is the monetary exchange and once that's final there is no looking back. REPEAT AFTER ME, one word: panic!

On another note I found some terrific antiques markets in the nearby town of Arundel so I will be doing some treasure hunting on my time off between classes this fall. There was a fairly good sized outdoor flea market, too. I located a nice EconoLodge so I can stay overnight once a week. That ought to be tons of fun, huh? Goodness gracious, the things we do for the love of art.

Beyond that I sat at my makeshift studio table (some people would call it their dining room table, but I need to say studio in my head to make me happy) and worked on some more altered CD's. The whole DANCE theme is going on and I'm going to work it until it's out of me. I will post the results when they're complete.

Bella visited yesterday. What a love. We got caught up on the boys, the men, the mutual friends, and the current energy of Spirit. There is so much swirling around us now and there's important work to do. Pray for strength and wisdom.

Getting to Know You...Create a Connection

I took this from the Create a Connection Site yesterday. In case you're interested.

List 3 random facts about you, that we will be entertained by: I own a restaurant and motel in Central Maine, I totally love competitive sports and play women's fast pitch softball and field hockey, I own a cutie-pa-tootie black pot-bellied pig named Abby Rose, she is 3 years old!
List 2 things about you, that are important for us to know: 1) I recently divorced my husband of 20 years. Ammicable enough, but nonetheless sad and has completely sent me into a tailspin (more info at a later date) 2) My spiritual quest is important enough to me that it has affected my entire life including family relationships, friends, my art. Small Maine towns aren't receptive to alternative ways of thinking.
Do you like board games? Yes, someWhat are some favorites? Scrabble, because I love words. Monopoly because it is my daughters favorite. Yahtzee, easy to play. Pictionary!! But throw me a basketball and I'd love to shoot hoops with you.
What are your non-artistic hobbies? Gardening,oooh how I love my gardens. Sports because I have an urge to run all the time.
Do you collect anything? Do headaches count? I have two recent collections started: Couples dancing and spiritually moving items (photos, crosses, altar statuary)
What types of art do you enjoy creating the most? I love, love, love to sketch and draw but collage is gaining popularity with me. Sewing is great fun, too. And oh, scrapbooking.
Do you have a type of art that you've always wanted to try, but never done? What is it? I am dying to try jewelry making. I have sketches all done, ready to be made.
Do you have any art "how to" sites that you would recommend to us? What are they? No, I don't, but if you have some for me....

Oooooh, that was fun! I enjoy sharing, I do. My only worry about this whole blogging thing is how this does or possibly DOES NOT interfere with eliminating ego. If the ultimate goal is be rid of our egos so that we can see things clearly and be completely conscious, does all this talk about ME and I get in the way. This is a new quandry for me.

If You Play Your Cards Right

Yesterday on my day off I decided to try my hand at altered CD's. Now this was fun!! I tore through an 1929 The American Home magazine and found this great advertisement for an RCA Radiola 60. The ad had these terrific art deco hand drawn dancers that I clipped. A little sheet music, a great background, some chalk, woven cording, some stamping and VOILA! I titled it "If You Play Your Cards Right". I'm kind of wondering how people display their altered CD's. Does anyone have any good ideas?

BRRRR! Did I mention it's 30 degrees here in central maine? We're in this terrific melt then refreeze pattern. Joe Kupo says it we'll have a 50 degree heat wave by weekend. Yee ha!

Pink Beats Blue

Pink is my favorite color. But blue and gray are what I'm battling right now.

The days sitting behind my desk are long, too long. I ache to set up a permanent studio once again. I long for Wednesdays, my scheduled day off, so I can play all day.

Reading everyone else's blog is so much fun, and so inspiring. It makes me want to try my hand at new things: jewelry making, mosaics, oil painting, knitting. All of that and I am dying to get out my sewing machine and get some of the new Amy Butler fabrics and patterns before spring is over.

I'd like to tip this desk over and sprint home. Yes, I'll be winded and have extreme shin splints, but at least I'll be home where the creative forces in me can take over.

Why Art? Why Now?

I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a part-time art student. As part of my college application process I have to write an essay on my art. I thought I'd share.

Art is my chosen form of expression. It is my joy, frustration, sadness, anger and curiosity. Without pen and paper I am lost. My hands and fingers fumble to find comfort without pen in place. I doodle while on the telephone. I sketch still lifes as I have intimate conversations with a friend. Business meetings require a fresh pad of paper and sharp pencil so I can sketch ideas as I take notes.

Journaling is no longer about words on paper in a private padlocked book. It's now about color that represents my mood. It's clippings of inspiring photos and sketches of my day. Art journaling is comfortable and it suits me.

For me art is everywhere. Finely crafted furniture, funky jewelry, intricately woven rugs and smartly knitted crafts are all art forms. Each of these mediums, among others, intrigue me in one way or another, but none so much as paper arts. Pen, pencil, ink, chalk laid to paper in many and various forms is pure art candy. So tasty and delightful that I squeak.

As a young child I thought artists were poor starving men on the streets of Paris. Struggle was the assumption. This frustrated me to the point of giving up. Rather than pursue a life fraught with aggravation and since it was assumed "you can't make a living doing art" I passed on art school. Thought I'm still young in my heart, at almost forty, my now adult mind has learned that I can't live without being creative every day. It has finally recognized that artists can indeed make a living making art and thirdly, my heart and mind agree that art school is something I must try.

The styles of the Renaissance masters fascinate me and at one time I thought that that was the only way art could be. This probably explains my own struggles with style. Getting the details and proportions right have consumed me and created an unfair judgement against my own attempts.

My personal style is, as most artists, evolving. In the past I have used the word UPTIGHT to describe my style because I have worked on small planes and usually with great detail. I am working at getting out of my own way to work in new styles; I have discovered a looser way is relaxing and fun to do. It removes the pressure. It's refreshing.

I have worked in a variety of mediums including: pen and ink, oils, acrylics, pencil, chalk, collage and assemblage. I do not concern myself with my art being salable. I will create pieces that feed my own soul. If a piece stirs something in someone else then I welcome it and hold my head high.

There it is, my application essay. Let's hope they'll accept me as a student. Fingers and toes crossed??

Warning To New Readers: License to Preach

Warning to new readers: My blog may be a tad wordy until I get some of this background information out of my system. I just thought you may want to know a little history of me before I get more conversational. Okay? Okay!!

I finished a canvas during the big snowstorm we had on Saturday. It started out seemingly innocent enough, some torn pages from the Methodist Discipline pasted on a copper colored background. As I'm pasting away I notice the words "License to Preach" printed on one of the pages. Suddenly my mind starts going off on religion and doctrine and dogma. The piece starts coming alive and before I know it I have torn sheet music titled "The Kingdom" into a church with roof lines that say "love and devotion" and "message of peace". Lo and behold these two haughty looking men are cut and pasted on the roof shouting their message, using their license to preach. As I do all of this I am getting more and more angry. Who are they to tell me what to believe and how to believe? Who the heck issues a License to Preach?

The questions seared through me and as I dug myself in the anger I discover myself looking for a door to put on the front of the church. I locate a lovely maroon colored arched door and find myself creating a sign for the outside of the door: " Enter at Your Own Risk". Now the anger is gone and it is replaced with guilt. New questions arise: Will I be judged for putting how I feel on this canvas? Does it matter if I am judged? Will patrons understand what I meant when I wrote those words? I skittishly ditch the sign for the door and handwrite along the side of the door the same words. Less obtrustive, but still there.

Lost in thought I finish the church with a gray crumbling and cracked foundation wondering if anyone else will notice the implication in what I've done.

I signed the piece and put it aside while a new journal was born. I had to write my thoughts and feelings about this art. It is the first time in probably years that I have had that much emotional energy go into a product. I never expected such internal rage. I wrote four pages in longhand.

My history with religion is probably the same as most people who are my age and from the northern New England area. We were raised to believe X, Y, Z. We were told X, Y, Z was it. Period. No questions asked. When I busted out of that belief system the world as I knew it changed. Marraige changed, family changed, care of Mother Earth changed. I blossomed and grew (& continue to). It has cost me important relationships, this argument with Church XYZ and all it encompasses. I refuse to be spoken down to by Church XYZ and its components.

As I said to my daughter last week, I'm just going to continue being me. Different. Earthy. Growing. Questioning. Arty. Uptight. Funny (sometimes). Generous. Spiritual.

Bon Jour and Hello!

This is where I'll post my thoughts. Though art and spiritual growth consume me I will allow whatever happens to happen. I hope to have no limitations. I hope to speak authentically. I hope to post a ton of great pieces of what can loosely be called art. I hope to be me and I hope to make some great new friends. I really, really want to make you smile & laugh and think twice.

This is the new tammigirl busting out of her self-imposed shell, ready and willing to take a new direction. Wish me luck, okay?