Another Friday is here, I've not much to say except random thoughts.
I think the timing of my blogging needs to change. Each morning when I wake I go to the kitchen for delicious hot coffee and sit with my marker(s) and paper and I empty the junque. I now call it "coffee talk". While waking up I breathe in the quiet of the morning, contemplate today and consider tomorrow. I write until my wrist hurts and sometimes my heart. I am alive with ideas to share with the blogging community & I am brimming with information and feelings and wanting and needing to teach. I have sketches to share, drawings to post, color to discuss.
"I will tell them X Y and Z, then the next day I'll share A B C..."
And always, following my rituals, prayer, showering, putting the dog out (and back in), loving up the lump under the bedroom covers known as a teenage boy, pulling a frozen slab of something for dinner later...always by the time I get to the computer I am lost in the day and never get to the heart of the matter. I sit here frozen.
So here's hoping that I find some balance between Coffee Talk writings and typing it on the computer. Today I asked for guidance in this area so that I can share more. I want to be a beacon of light, not easy when you're battling the doldrums, or slow cash flow, or lack of interest. Whatever your battle, we must take action against it and be bold. I suppose that's what I was really asking for, more strength to be bold so that I can experience the grace and magic of my actions.
Quandry #1: Is this really my artist forum or my spiritual forum and what is its purpose. Can it be both? Melba led me to Kiandra who's post really hit my heart and now I have more thinking to do.
Quandry #2: The New Earth by Eckart Tolle really has me thinking. I read it each night before prayers and it talks about EGO a lot. More specifically, it discusses the elimination of it in order to be pure BEING or allowing the BEING to be us. It talks about disassociating ourselves from roles. This really hit home. Particularly he talks about parenting and how often we parent for too long or too hard. If we parent our kids and edge towards "I know more than you or I have more life experience than you therefore you should, yadda yadda..." then we are having a power trip, an ego check is required. Role playing really keeps us stuck in ego and this is something I really want to work on. I have done this role playing with my kids, sad and difficult to say, but true. This isn't to say I did it intentionally, I thought that's what we were supposed to do as parents, but having read this I know now that with my kids as older teens/young adults I need to let go and have a true relationship that is more equal with less of my own opinion interjected. *sigh* so much to think about.